by Can Tran

Created on: May 18, 2009

Throughout all of my years in existence, I had learned this one valuable lesson. You will not learn this lesson easily. There is only one way to learn this lesson. It is either from your own experience or through someone else's experience. It is best to learn from someone else's experience. So far, this is a type of lesson that almost everybody will go through in life.

That one lesson would be: Never get desperate. In addition, never do anything out of desperation. When you get desperate, you are probably going to do something that will hurt you. I have learned this from my own personal experience and through other people's experience. However, this does not have anything to do with relationships. But, this lesson can also be applied to relationships.

In the case of relationships, this is an extremely valuable lesson. For desperate singles, they are at risk of getting both physically and/or emotionally hurt for the most part. Luckily, I am not a desperate single. However, I had come across some other people who are desperate singles. Unfortunately, the end results are by no means pretty. By doing something out of desperation, one can go too far. In regards to relationships, one should not underestimate how far a single could go in order to be in a couple.

Example One:

Last year, my mom made friends with this woman that recently moved down. She thinks of my mother as a big sister. However, my mother does not really like to hang out with her that much for good reason. This is due to the woman always looking for a husband. That is a dead giveaway of being single and going too far for a companion.

The woman is attracted to the son of one of her coworkers. The son and I have been friends for quite awhile. However, the mother does not think so highly of her. But, the woman does not know it let alone realize it. In this respect, the woman is jumping through X hoops to get the mother's approval to date the son. However, it is unlikely that it is going to happen.

Unfortunately, the woman is at the point of desperation that she does not really notice it. Her thinking and better judgment are clouded by the emotions of desperation in regards to finding love. At the end, it will hurt her.

Example Two:

Another example would be one hooking up with a partner who is known for his/her infidelity. Whenever the partner cheats, the desperate one always forgives the cheater. At the end, the person ends up getting hurt.

One could ask: Why is the person hurting him/herself? To answer that question: the person is desperate for companionship. As a result, the person ends up getting into this sort of relationship.

Example Three:

This is the same as example two. The person could be a degenerate such as: rapist, thief, drug dealer, and so forth. Again, this is out of desperation. This also extends to an abusive companion. Why is the person staying in the relationship? It is because s/he is that desperate and willing to go that far.

Example Four:

The desperate single could be used like a tool. Again, why stay in the relationship? The answer is the same as stated in the other examples.

With all of these examples grouped together, there lies the lesson: never do anything out of desperation. If you are feeling desperate, one needs to take a step back and look at things with a detached view. Do not get emotional at all in this respect. If you get emotional, you will screw up and you will end up getting hurt. Relationships are by no means an exception.

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