by Catherine Back

Created on: May 18, 2009

"Broken and Lost"

Because sometimes

when the weather is just creeping right,

eyes stare without blink

inside old mind frights.

Sitting silent by your coffin life,

as ghosts in your room wonder,

will you ever get it right?

They let you win at checkers

just to keep the room more bright.

Time pushes forward

as old clock bells chime and clack.

A broken calendar that skips

to only what I lack.

Grandfather clock is looming,

I hear his wicked thoughts.

Pounding strokes at midnight,

how I wish it all would rot.

I tell myself it's in my head,

the clock comes back to life.

Rusty teeth push up the hands

it's drearily midnight.

Hissing whispers, second hand,

just before the light.

Close your eyes,

forget about another wasted night.

Confused moon dangles,

between the wrong and right.

No birds take flight.

But I feel

I can't deal,

so, I just might.

Mighty thoughts so powerful,

catapulting

soared images,

so revolting.

Like puke vomit rockets,

death breeze,

thinned air.

I continue to stare.

Thinking and thinking

can bring you there.

So caring is something

I try not to bare.

Last week

I sold my courage,

so I could justify

being down.

Because sometimes

wearing down,

It's,

all around,

It's,

all that hangs in closets,

with the skeletons

and the frowns,

and the boxes,

tear stained journals,

depicting me like Charlie Brown,

in an off white tattered gown.

Because sometimes

pen and paper,

is all that keeps me sound.

Beside my growing illness,

there's just nothing else around.

Except the pain,

I'm told in vein.

My karma,

pharma-ceutical slain.

Why be bothered to restrain.

The whole world

has gone mad,

I say,

tripping over their crippling brains.

I think I'll go insane,

I say,

I think I'll go insane.

Swallow pills like skittles

just to play this sordid game.

Screaming voices in my head,

they push me till I'm numb.

Look how far from living

I can comfortably become.

When I count

my problems,

I am

the only one.

I'm upside down,

I'm inside out,

lost what life is all about.

I kicked and clawed

my way back out.

So now I am,

there is no doubt,

the perfect sum of none;

I am in everyone.

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