by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: May 17, 2009

Jealousy is a dirty word. It creates more problems than there needs to be but many of us fall into its trap. It can cause us to do irrational things that we wouldn't otherwise do. One of those things is to accuse our spouse of cheating when they didn't. This can be a tough situation because once you do it, you can't take it back. The only thing you can do is try to rectify the situation.

Here are a few tips on what to do when you have falsely accused your spouse of cheating:

Prevention

You need to find out first what is realistic. Humans can conjure all sorts of thoughts in their heads when it comes to love. One of those things is that a spouse is having an affair. This often happens when the relationship is on rocky grounds. If you find that your marriage seems to be taking a nose dive, it allows your mind to make things up. This is especially true when this has happened in past relationships.

You have to come to peace with the past. You also have to realize that the person that you are currently with isn't the person that you were with before. After you come to terms with that, you can see things a little more clearly. Just because someone has to work overtime doesn't mean that he or she is cheating. It can simply mean that he/she has to work over time. There are a million scenarios that can go along with this. You have to decide if this person is really doing it before you fly off the handle for something that is easily explained.

Trust

When you have accused your spouse of cheating when he/she hasn't, you have told that person that you do not trust him/her the way that you should. It creates a lot of issues that need to be addressed. You have to learn how to trust your spouse if you want a good and long lasting relationship with him/her.

This may be a good time to go to counseling. The life of your marriage may depend on it. You cannot have a secure relationship when one person is insecure. Insecurities is where these issues arise from. Find security within yourself first. Nothing else can come until you have that.

Apologize

It is important to tell your spouse that you are sorry for jumping to conclusions about things. It won't fix everything, but it's a great place to start. Follow that up by telling your partner why you reacted that way. If he/she understands where you are coming from, he/she may be more willing to forgive the accusation. This must be followed up with some changes. If you have too much time to think about things, find some activities to keep you busy. It is often the mind of a person that doesn't have much to do but think that will conjure the ideas up.

Move Forward

What is done is done. You can't change it. Do what you can to change how you feel about things. Find out what makes these thoughts come into your head and do what you can to change it. Let your spouse know what made you feel that way so that he/she can help you through it. Once you have done all that you can do, it is time to move into the future without further such incidents.

It isn't fun to be accused of something that we didn't do. It is bad enough to take blame for the things that we did do. Put yourself in your spouse's position and understand why this may be hard for him/her to deal with. It probably won't end your marriage if this is the first time that it has happened. If you continue on with it, that may be a different story. Work on yourself to avoid that end.

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