It wasn't a huge crash, as the car was only going about 15 mph, but it was enough to cause some damage to Sally's front steps and to cause the neighbors to investigate. The police were called, as well as Sally's parents, and Norman was excited that he would finally get a chance to see the reclusive Sally.

When the squad car pulled up and two officers got out to speak to the driver and to Sally, Norman tried to inconspicuously follow them into the house. Norman was not an inconspicuous person by any means, and his little ploy did not go unnoticed by the officers.

He was halted at the door and when he attempted to explain why he should be allowed to see Sally, he was told to go home. Norman persisted that he only wanted one little innocent look at Sally. The end result of all this was Norman handcuffed and put in the back of the squad car.

Later that evening when I went to pull into my garage, I almost ran over the ditch digger lying in the middle of the driveway with his shirt off.

I rolled down my window and asked him what in the world he was doing.

He was sleeping and my question woke him up.

"Oh, hey man, I was catching some rays," he said all groggily, "I must've fallen asleep."

I am usually a fairly passive person, but I couldn't stop myself from blurting out, "Don't you have a ditch somewhere to sleep in?"

The rest of the weirdo neighbors happened to be hanging out next door at the (I think it was safe to assume) drug dealer's house sharing a joint. Apparently, they were celebrating Norman's release from the drunk tank.

They must have, only minutes before, taken the plastic down because they were all red and flushed with beads of sweat trickling down their faces - including Santa in his full Santa Claus outfit. Mrs. Claus was hanging off of Holly Wood, slobbering some sort of gibberish.

The ditch digger kind of staggered his way over to them after I asked him if he had a ditch to sleep in. I could hear everyone asking him what I had said. The ditch digger mumbled something, to which they all sounded a little outraged, although I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying.

Then, as I was putting my key in the front door, I heard Norman quip, "Man, that broad is weird huh?" to which all the rest of them agreed.

My husband and I moved shortly after that.

Learn more about this author, Rachel Howells.
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