by Carolyn O'Brien

Created on: May 17, 2009   Last Updated: May 20, 2009

There is a question we ask ourselves since first we know a baby is coming into our life, and that question is, "What do I really wish for my child?"

For generations there have been exponents of various right and wrong ways of raising babies and children. Dr. Spock influenced a generation and beyond only to have his advocacies discredited by newly emerging experts. No doubt the current gurus in their turn will also be challenged.

As Kahlil Gibran reminds us "In truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who dream yourself a giver, are but a witness."

Recently, I embarked on my own survey of new and expectant parents. After much research, reflection and soul searching, these are some of the answers given to me. There were many more, wonderful, generous, altruistic outpourings of unconditional love. May we each be dedicated to their fruition.

I wish for you to be the best you can be. To this end I will try not to judge you as you grow; nor criticize or condemn. I will value you as a separate human being sharing time in this world with me. I will not influence you in ways which are good for me but not right for you.

I wish for you to learn to trust your instincts, to grow independent and confident. I want you to be self-reliant so that no-one can control your happiness, so that you can look inward for reinforcement and replenishment.

I wish for you to follow your dreams. I will not disparage your childish aspirations. Instead, I will support, encourage and where possible, help to actively work towards your attainment of them.

I wish for you to be assertive without aggression, and always with regard for another individual's rights. To not be manipulated, to not be victimized. To not 'give up' under pressure.

I wish for you to stretch your mind to its highest capacity; to foster a love of learning and inquiry.

I want you to live in the moment. Not wait for things to happen to you, not fret because they didn't, but to make them happen for you, one day at a time.

I want you of course, to be happy, to find fulfillment and satisfaction in the smallest task as well as in your greatest achievements.

And I wish that you will always keep the magic of loving life. That even in your dark hours you will face your doubts and demons courageously, learn from them and move on with hope in your heart.

I wish you grace. That indefinable force which nurtures and elevates human life.

I want you at the end of your life to be able to say "I know why I came and I'm ready to leave."

It's a tall order I know and I may yet prove inadequate. I will be challenged many times in my pledge, perhaps fail, take many wrong turns. but I want you to know my little one, everything I do is an act of love, always, always love.

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