by Matt Lipford

Created on: May 17, 2009

Anger and the Fear of Death

As humans, I believe it is part of either our conscious or unconscious nature to search for "ultimate meanings". One of the most important of these meanings involves questions about life and death. There are far too many incongruent beliefs surrounding these matters. People begin to feel insecure, and even angry when faced with their own mortality. This anger basically covers the fears they feel about death. Death is seen as the ultimate barrier - but a barrier between this life and what? This underlying question is the root of many patient's fears, insecurities and anger.

As a result of all this anger in our society, much of what is dealt with in classical psychotherapy has to do with anger of some sort. However, Dr. Seymour Boorstein takes this notion a step further and understands the fear that lies behind all anger. He therefore prescribes the approach that psychotherapy should focus on basic fears rather than any specific anger.

Many people today only know of two ways to deal with anger. Both ways hold consequences for the angered individual. For example, to hold all of this anger (and fear) inside takes vast amounts of energy. However, to verbally or physically "let loose" (screaming, punching a pillow, etc...) is equally ineffective because it usually leaves the patient feeling "drained and demoralized" (ch 27:524-525).

It is for this very reason that Dr. Boorstein transcends the anger issues and delves directly into the fear lurking behind the angry facade. The technique used in this approach is essentially a refocusing of the patient's attention. This approach is viewed as a move "from dealing with the anger to recognition of the fear behind it" (ch 27:525).

When delving deep into the murky regions of anger, Dr. Boorstein has found that the core reason for all the anger is fear of not surviving. It seems illogical on the surface, but people who feel angry at situations in life are actually afraid of losing some attribute of their livelihood. For example, someone who always feels anger toward his or her boss could quite possibly be covering a deep-seated fear of losing their job. Their job is equated with their survival, and therefore, at some deep psychological level, they reach the conclusion that their boss threatens their stability and therefore their life.

Personally, when I apply these techniques to my life, I realize that I have severe reactions when someone close to me questions my identity as

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