by Melinda Barr

Created on: May 16, 2009

There is one very important, often over looked, step to ensuring that getting married is the right move to make. Many people marry for all the wrong reasons, like fear of being alone, money and security, and so on. There is one basic question that all men (and women) should ask themselves before entering into a marriage.

The question is this ~ is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

First, let's take a look at Mr. (or Mrs.) Right Now

Mr. Right Now

~ He may satisfy a few of your basic needs, but he is a band aid solution, not a permanent fix. Mr. Right is often a great deal of fun and can easily distract you from issues in your life that you prefer to hide from at the moment. If he is saving you from loneliness, fear, insecurity and the like, you need to take measure of this.

~ He might mask or hide his real emotions, ethics and morals in his attempt to woo you with his boyish charm. This may be a lot of fun short term, but will cause real difficulty down the road.

~ Often we overlook important issues and discussions like finances, child rearing, division of household duties and so on, in favor of the excitement and challenge of the moment. After all, if Mr. Right Now makes you happy, well, that's a good thing, no?

~ When you choose to overlook his flaws and warts, or hide from any other truth about him, you are most certainly setting yourself for grief and failure.

~ He is not particularly interested in any negative emotions or situations you are currently dealing with. .

~ With Mr. Right Now, you often find yourself withholding information or characteristics of the real you in an attempt to keep him with you. Unless you can be 100% open and honest with him all of the time, he is indeed not a good candidate for marriage.

Mr. Right

~ Mr. Right will love you, warts and all. He cherishes and honors you through the good times as well as the bad times.

~ He has morals, values and ethics that are very similar or at least close to your own.

~ Mr. Right has respect for himself, for you and for people in general. He does not stab you with words nor sting you with slaps, not ever!

~ He is honest, he is kind and he has good self-esteem and self-worth, with or without you.

~ He is a good communicator and an empathetic listener with you and with others. He expects the same in return.

In summary, if you know deep within your heart and soul, that you are settling for anything less than what you need or deserve, you are doing both of you a great disservice by entering into the sanctity of marriage, or even a relationship for that matter.

Love, honor and commitment do not come to you on a schedule; they come when you are able to recognize them, accept them, and offer them back in return. Anything less is simply not good enough.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Barr.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.