by Michele Mccullough

Created on: May 16, 2009

Insecurities in a relationship are often the product of past experiences. Weather these experiences result from a home life of cheating parents or ones own past relationship experiences makes no difference, it causes the same plethora of problems in the current relationship.

Once a person has been hurt and wounded mentally and spiritually, it's extremely difficult to change their way of thinking into trusting again. A person whose life experiences have been a series of watching people damage each other rather than love and build each other up, tends to create a wall of defense with their emotions. They begin to believe that no matter who they deal with in life, no one can really be trusted.

Enter into this a person that can be trusted and has not had the misfortune of being cheated on or watching their parents cheat on each other, and this person has no reason to mistrust unless a situation or event has been brought to their attention that is out of the ordinary. One that has insecurities will look at everything as a cause to mistrust. From feeling the need to sneak a look at emails to checking every piece of mail and phone call, they constantly look for something to reassure them that all is normal.

This can be dealt with in many ways if you are the half of the relationship on the receiving end of the mistrust, especially when it is not deserved. The first key is to understand that the persons issues are theirs and not your own. Whatever they may say and do, it is not really directed at you, so do not take it personally. Loving another person sets one in a situation where we have to remove the act of taking things personally and think about how to help our loved one overcome the mindset they have developed through the years. This is not always easy. Years of building a wall, whereupon you tell yourself everyone is only out for themselves, is not an easy wall to break down and it requires a lot of love and patience to make any progress.

Showing a lot of love and understanding helps a lot and constantly reassuring through kind words works wonders as well. Mainly, proving your loyalty and commitment to the relationship is the main thing and through years of this, and yes, I mean years, the other half will slowly begin to trust again. The progress is very slow but as long as you see improvement you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are times when it can be very frustrating and giving up is tempting but if you know you have a good person to share your life with and this is your only real issue, hang in there and don't give up. It will be worth it in the end!

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