by Morgan Bell

Created on: February 01, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

An "asexual" person is someone who has no desire to have sex.

Asexuality is not a choice like celibacy.

Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, do not find sexual behaviour appealing and are not compelled to form sexual relationships. Asexuals are not driven to have sex with other people, they don't get horny and other people don't "turn them on". An asexual would feel completely satisfied if they never shared a single sexual experience for the rest of their lives.

Asexual people generally feel completely neutral about sex. Some asexuals may have tried it and found it very disappointing while others find the idea of participating in sexual activity absolutely repulsive. An asexual person will generally be asexual for their entire lives. If you have yet to meet a single person who has aroused you sexually it's fairly safe to say that you have low or no sexual attraction to others. And if you don't enjoy sex or find it disappointing this might be because you don't really want to have sex in the first place. Most asexual people are physically capable of having sex, and may have even had sex in the past in order to please a partner. They may have been more sexual during puberty or some earlier period of their life, but later realised they actually did not experience sexual attraction to others. When a person already lacks the compulsion to have sex, there is no amount of trying sex will create a desire for it in future.

Asexuals are not afraid or ashamed of sexual intimacy, they simply have no desire for it. Being asexual doesn't mean you hate sex, it just means that you're not driven to have it. Asexual people may fantasize about sex but if they actually were given the opportunity to be sexual with that person there would be no attraction, or the drive would be so low as to be completely ignorable.

The problem with being asexual is that we live in a society that places a high premium on sexuality, where everyone is assumed to be sexual, the media and advertising portray everyone as being sexual, constantly tempted by sex, and needing sex to be happy. People are just expected to be sexual by default and there is an assumption that everyone must have a sexuality. Many asexuals spend their whole life thinking of themselves as undeveloped people, living in hope for the day when they will become whole and bloom into a valid sexual person. A lack of sexual attraction places a person outside traditional gender roles and identities and they may feel unwelcome in both

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