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Respect is a choice based on personal preferences. One cannot demand respect, and no one can demand it from you. So, it is rather neurotic for anyone to demand respect. While respect is a good place to initiate any relationship, one should not demand it from anyone.

That being said, respect happens and grows over time, and one can feel offended when the respect we expect from people is not given. Does this then imply that we should cut all contact with that person? Well let's look at what we are denying ourselves by doing so. People come as whole packages, and they have much to offer us by means of learning to know ourselves through knowing others.

People are very diverse, and often they have a lot more to teach us than what we really learn from them, mainly because we have filtering system of condemnation in place. Judgment in and of it self is good. You have a beautiful smile. That is a judgment. The problem lies not in judgment but in condemnation. When we have a kind of stubborn mentality that the world should be in a specific way and people should be in accordance to what we think they should be, we have successfully deluded ourselves not to see reality for what it is.

Dogs bite. Cats climb trees. Drunkards swagger. Opinionated people have opinions. We can accept that. Why should we not accept the disrespectful person too? Some people are simply honest and assertive, and they will give you an honest opinion with no disrespect intended. Often it is their language of respect that might not be recognizable to you. A Sagittarian person for example, demands honesty and frankness above the preservation of precious ego, so they might be honest and forward with one out of respect for them, when one might read that as disrespect.

The best way is to be self-referenced with regards to the behavior of others. Dogs bite so you will keep your distance, but you can still be with them and appreciate them, but just not as close to them as with cats. Cats are fine as long as they keep their claws from digging into your legs. The disrespectful person will just have to be contented with you not relying on their loyalty and respect, but they may still be around. The key of course is to be self-referenced and not to take things personally.

Know thyself. The more you know who you are, the less you will feel offended by the way others behave in regards to you. When you respect yourself, that is worth more than the respect of the whole world. That will be your personal armor, born from authentic empowerment. You cannot control others, so accept them as they are, while you allow and accept yourself as you are. But also love yourself enough to keep out of harms way. Don't shut the world out just because you find it offensive. Search your soul and find out why you find it offensive, and you will get to know yourself and appreciate yourself in the process.

In closing I want to quote a story I remember from a master. I remember what Osho said with regards to respect:

"A friend of mine said he lost all respect for me. He wrote me a letter telling me how much he lost his respect for me since I became so outspoken on sexual matters. I wish to say to this friend. My friend. I did not ask for your respect but you gave it anyway so the error is yours. Now you found the error and you corrected it. That is good. I am glad for you."

Learn more about this author, Eugene Pitout.
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