by Robert Killam

Created on: May 16, 2009

In a world where more than one person exists, conflict will arise. Conflict is unnecessary, but it does not necessarily have to be a destructive ordeal. In fact, conflict can be used to further your business, education, or personal life, and can provide opportunities for new ideas to come to the fore. Of course, that all depends on how you handle conflict.

First off, nothing will ever be resolved if you don't listen. Until all parties in a conflict are willing to listen to what one another has to say, people will continue to shout over one another, disagree, and either pummel one another into the ground or ignore one another completely (either literally or figuratively). So, take tthe initiative and ask the other person exactly what is wrong. Listen intently by looking at them in the face with all seriousness, which will tell them that you are truly intent on solving the problem.

After they have stated their particular problem, wait for them to completely finish. Even if they rant, raise their voice, and get "ugly" with their language, let them proceed until they "run out of steam". When they do, take it from the top and address their main point. Repeat back to them (in perhaps calmer terms) what it is they said, so they know you heard them, despite all the "ugliness" that may have gotten in the way.

Once they have confirmed that you heard them correctly, apologize for whatever role it is that you had in the conflict. If you did not have a part in it, still apologize that they are offended, but provide a reasonable answer to explain how you are not involved. If you truly were involved in causing their frustration, admit it and show them you are an honest person. That will make resolving the conflict much easier.

After you have apologized, whether they accept it or not, tell them exactly what you are going to do to solve their problem. If you can, act on your solution right then and there, to show them you can follow through to take care of the conflict. If they are displeased with your solution, ask them exactly what they would like you to do, and tell them how far you're willing to go on their solution. If you can't complete part of their solution for some reason (i.e., it's not within your power), explain that to them, so they don't think you're refusing out of spite. Tell them you will do everything you can to pass along your solution to those who can do something, but that you can't make any more promises than that. Once a person sees

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