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Why bosses don't need to be intimidating

by D. P. Noe

Many individuals look at the confidence and self assurance traits that most leader's possess and judge them as intimidating solely on these characteristics. Just because someone has the title of leader does not make them intimidating, it is usually just a perception and not a fact. Keeping a open line of communication with the leaders of an organization you will often find just the opposite. A wise leader will create an environment where others will not see them as intimidating individuals.

20 years ago the world of business functioned with totally different types of leadership that were typical for that era. Leaders ran everything and made all the decisions and functioned by intimidating leadership and that their input was what was important because after all they were the leader. Things have taken a dynamic turn to teamwork and everyone has important input that needs to be heard.. The best ideas and changes have occurred through collaboration and not by intimidating take over management style.

Leaders should become active listeners and ask employees for their view's and opinions. After giving the employees the opportunity to express their vies, the leader can look for areas where they can find agreement about what the employees said. This enables the leader to express their views and opinions and not appear like they are intimidating and trying to take over. Leadership needs to be careful about reacting strongly to a situation and be careful to differentiate between making sure others understand that they are just reacting and not making a decision that can be viewed as intimidating behavior.

The words a leader chooses when they are conversing with their employees sets the stage whether they will appear open or intimidating. If a leader comes back with a strong statement like "that is a stupid idea and it will never work," or "There is no way we are going to do that", they will be viewed as intimidating and closed to new ideas.

A better choice of words would use statement which include "I statements". A less threatening statement when conversing with the employees for example would be, " I am not sure we have explored every avenue of this situation and need to look at some different ways to resolve the issue." This type of statement does not shut everyone off and invites others to contribute their views and opinions.

A intuitive leader will seek out their peers or colleagues and ask them to honestly ask if they come off as intimidating when they are having conversations with others in the organization. Leaders need to be prepared to hear honest feedback and not becomes defensive if they hear things they did not want to hear. Then make a plan on how they will make changes to appear less intimidating to others. The leader may need a whole new vocabulary, change their tone of voice or stand in front of the mirror and see what your body language is saying.

If the leader suspects that employees are holding back when conversing with them, this is where the leader needs to take the opportunity to talk to this employee. Bring down the barriers whether they are real or perceived. Employees need to view leaders as open individuals who want to hear their view. Leaders who are not being viewed as open and receptive are often viewed as closed or intimidating because they want things to be their way and do not want anyone to challenge them..

Intimidation does not lead to teamwork or success in any organization. It limits new ideas from ever being expressed or old ideas being challenged. This type of leadership should never be accepted or practiced because it is a road with a dead end. Leaders never have to use intimidating tactics, you always get much more out of people when you open the roads to communication and expressing ideas. Intimidating behavior is like throwing salt on a wound instead of looking for ways to treat the wound and heal it.

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA