by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: May 15, 2009

Two people who have chosen to live together before making a lifetime commitment to each other have been testing the waters. It is often those that have been hurt in the past by others that choose this path. There are also those that feel that marriage is unnecessary when it can so quickly end in the divorce. There is a myth that everything is fine until the day you say "I do". Once those words are spoken, the relationship suddenly nose dives and divorce is around the corner.

Getting married after living together for a long time may sound a little crazy. After all, if it isn't broken, don't fix it, right? That isn't what a lot of people think. Here are some of the reasons that people get married after living together for so long:

Someone Isn't Happy

Simply living together can make you feel as though you are settling for less. Why won't he/she make a commitment that is stronger? Why am I not good enough? These are questions that will often run through the mind when marriage doesn't seem to enter the picture. It isn't that the other person doesn't love you. It is because he/she has some fear of getting married.

If a partner sees that his mate isn't happy and he can't stand the thought of losing her, he may make a commitment that wasn't previously in the picture. He was just putting it off because he has some fear.

What the Heck

Some couples who live together for a very long time don't see any harm in getting married at this point. There is no real reason they are doing it. It might be fun to have a big party. The couple has simply decided that they may as well go ahead and tie the knot when they have lived together so long that people think they are already married.

Stronger Bonds

Getting married can create much stronger bonds between two people. These two people have probably already shared everything that a married couple does with one exception. That piece of paper that people refer to with such distaste at times means a lot more than just a piece of paper. It shows to the world that you love this person more than any other. It shows the world that you care enough to make a commitment to that person and spend the rest of your life with him/her. This can only bring your relationship closer together.

Past Relationships

Many people put of getting married again when they have been married before. The fear that he/she will "get burned" again is too fresh in his/her mind. Once the person is given time to get past old hurts and realize that the new person isn't the previous person, marriage doesn't seem so scary.

Protection

Getting married after a long period of living together is also used as a protective measure. When you are not married, there is no protection for you if something happens to the other person. There is no place for you to turn and you can't fight it. This is especially true when you are getting older. You want to know that you won't lose your home among the other many benefits that married couples have. It's that plain and simple.

Getting married isn't quite the same as it used to be. Many people prefer to test the waters first. Some people have been hurt badly in the past and fear the same thing happening. They don't want the hassle of getting divorced again. It is easier to live with the person without making it legal. There are many reasons that people get married after living together for so long. It has to be right before they take that final step.

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