by Jeff Parsons

Created on: May 15, 2009   Last Updated: December 08, 2009

In the not too distant future, NASA takes a bold new approach. The following presentation is a news report from that time.

Over the decades, NASA has experienced many financial setbacks that have hampered its ability to reach for the stars. The latest budget crisis has impacted the launch date of the new Astro series: the replacement vehicle for the aging Orion fleet, once a key part of the outstanding Constellation program. The projected schedule for the Astro spacecraft won't be able to meet the 2028 deadline set by Congress.

Public reaction to the delay was disappointed to say the least. Savvy NASA executives have long realized the danger inherent in failing the public relations angle. NASA funding was, and always will be, at the mercy of public support.

NASA stated that they needed to reevaluate their position in the public eye. They needed a positive power symbol to rebuild their confidence issues. Authoritative. Competent. Reassuring. Friendly. Fascinating. Sexy.

Finally, success was achieved. They unveiled their new identity at a recent news conference. The NASA team filed into the pressroom and stood at attention. As he strode towards the podium, Administrator Hamrod Ingerputz's austere image grew on the gigantic presentation screen behind him.

After a variety of the usual tired greetings and affirmations, his speech highlighted the purpose for the press release.

'Recent budget cutbacks have forced us to delay the launch date of our new shuttle series. This is not good news. What will we do? Will we ever be number one again? Hard questions to face. Even harder to answer. The answer is ultimately related to financial capital. We need more money to stay in the game. And we're losing the ratings battle. The old ways don't work anymore. I'm sorry to say that space has become so terribly boring. Same old spacewalk. Same old launch. Same old research. There's a lot of competition out there from the other nations. And they have more to offer the new generation. Face it: we don't make money the way we used to because we've lost that edge of excitement. Well, it's time for a change.'

He sighed dramatically and took a slow drink from a glass of water.

'As part of our revamped PR image, we've put on a new business face. No more old school rocket science here. We'll be changing the way we do business. With that being said, I am very proud to introduce to you our new spokesperson: Argyle Goldtoe.'

Goldtoe suddenly popped up from behind the podium, meeting the stunned

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