by Ann E. Smith

Created on: May 15, 2009

Are you involved in a dating relationship or marriage? If so, you know that it takes lots of work! If you are not in one but have been involved in a serious relationship in the past, you may enjoy the current retrieve from some of the headaches.

Of course, relationships can be very wonderful, too, but they do require commitment and work. And, one of the main things that gets in the way of couple bliss is communications.

Men and women often communicate with different styles. And miscommunication occurs frequently between two people, whether they are or are not part of a couple!

This article will identify some of the biggest couples communications problems. If you are experiencing any of these, you are not alone. Couples counseling may be something you want to consider.

* He said, she said.

One of the biggest problems with communications is that both parties involved have different perspectives, perceptions and memories. How many times have you heard a couple happily recalling the first time they met?

Even when recalling something vivid and pleasant to both parties, you are likely to hear somewhat different versions of the same story. One person may interrupt the other to say, "No, that was not what I said!"

Now imagine the same couple recalling a much more tumultuous time such as their first huge argument. The differences in perspective, perceptions and memories will likely be much more apparent when negative emotions and conflict are involved.

It's human nature to filter information and to recall it from your own perspective and your own memory of events. However, there are two sides to every story.

Problems really arise when one person exaggerates what really happened, or when they always place blame on the other. This kind of person is just heaping on the challenges that already exist when two people try to come to agreement over important issue.

* Different predominant ways of communicating.

Women tend to talk much more than men. They provide the details and the emotions. Envision the way a woman describes a nice present. She may talk about the packaging and the beautiful bow before she even reveals what it is she received!

Men are more direct and to the point. If a man were to describe a nice present, he may just mentioned that he got something new and name the item. He may not even mention it was a gift. 'The details are less important to him when he communicates.

As you can imagine, when two people with such differing styles of communicate

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