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Uncovering Pigs in a Blanket

The True Story of B.B. Wolf and the 3 Pigs

By: Herendo Revolver

When Detective Nathan Links told 60 Minutes News Anchor Pan Batter that there is more to the Pig Tale than meets the eye, it sparked mayhem in the Enchanted Forest. This statement was in regard to a re-ignited investigation sparked by the Frog Prince of Belle-Air. The reopening of the case was the Frog Prince's attempt to hush puppies on the West side who have repeatedly accused pigs from the L.A.P.D. of conspiring against B.B. Wolf in the murder of and attempted murder of Notorious P.I.G., 2-Pac Sausage, and Pig Diddy also known as The 3 Little Pigs.

The story goes that B.B. Wolf huffed, puffed, and blew in the homes of Notorious P.I.G., and 2-Pac Sausage, brutally murdered and ate them, and attempted a break in at the home of Pig Diddy. B.B. Wolf was arrested and charged with two counts of first degree murder, and one count of attempted burglary. Wolf was sentenced to life in the Pig House. Pig Diddy changed his name and reportedly moved to the East coast where he could bake in the sun.

As an investigative reporter I am honored to spill the real beans on this tale. In a recent interview I had with B.B Wolf, he claimed that he was indeed framed but if he squealed on who really killed the pigs he would be battered to bits. Despite death threats, B.B Wolf suggested I speak with L.A.P.D. Chief of Police Frank N. Hamburg. I spoke with Mr. Hamburg and he told me that though he knows no specifics of the case, I should speak with Doughboy.

Doughboy is the owner of an LA night club called Bump n' Rind. This is where the meat of the story was. I spoke with Doughboy. It was small talk for nearly an hour but around 3:50 things heated up. According to Doughboy the pigs were on their way to super-stardom. They were going to be the biggest thing that came out of the Enchanted Forest, said Doughboy. They just recorded their new single Chinny Chin Chin, and they were going to be rolling in dough.

Did the pigs have any enemies? I asked. Those pigs were kosher, they weren't no Canadian bacon. They were the raw deal. But if I can think of anybody who hated them, it's Sheep Doggy Dog.

Sheep Doggy Dog was infamously known as the bad dog of the forest. I contacted Sheep and he decided to meet with me to discuss the story.

Mr. Sheep, what can you tell me about the murder of 2 of the 3 little pigs? I inquired.

All I can say is I ate those pigs I mean hate, I hate those pigs.

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