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Humor: Unemployment

by Sandie Mcgary

Created on: May 14, 2009

Just the sheer thought of the words "unemployment" sends shivers down the spines of the gainfully employed, thinking in their delusional minds that unemployment is not something that can happen to them. They are in-dispensable and impossible to replace, without them, the whole foundation of the company they are working for would fall to pieces. How do I know? I used to be one of them, allowing myself to think in monstrous terms that my qualifications and expertise could never be one-upped by anyone, I was the queen of my domain and there was nothing anyone could do about it. That is until I received my pink slip and kicked unmercifully to the curb with my bruised ass and ego in tow.

After the self indulging sulking and loathing for the company (that , by the way, would soon realize their mistake in allowing a key player in their operations go, but in reality never did) came to a conclusion. I realized that a prized "bull" so to speak, such as myself, would have absolutely no problem in acquiring a much better and more competitive job. Companies would jump at the chance to interview me and add me to their team, and once added would soon realize how creative and self starting I was, thus prompting them to quickly advance my position in said company. I would climb that ladder quicker than anyone had ever climbed it and would be known for my brilliance and tenacity.

Uh, yeah, right....right after I won the lottery and received the Medal of Honor for saving the president from an avalanche on top of Mt. Everest out of the goodness of my heart.! After my unfortunate dismissal of employment, I searched high and low for jobs that were comparable to the salary and type of job I previously had. For the first 3 weeks, nothing! I was amazed and confused. How could no one want to interview me? I was dependable, had extensive background and experience in customer service, several years in management and several letters of recommendation. My resume was rather impressive, I must say! But alas, not one nibble, not a sniff a whiff or nothing. Rather discouraging, let me tell you.

By this point you begin to wonder what in the world is wrong with you, weeks of searching and not one bite. That's exactly where my mind went. That was the point when my expectations dropped significantly. I began searching for jobs at local grocery stores for hourly positions. I assumed once I got my foot in the door and they looked at my resume they would see all of my qualifications and hire

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