by Angeline Oppenheimer

Created on: May 14, 2009   Last Updated: May 20, 2009

Bullying is the repeated use of physical, verbal or psychological harassment on the victim or victims. According to studies in several countries, at least 15% of the students are involved in bully/victim problems. Bullying often happens under the radar, so parents have to be plugged into their kids' lives to detect this problem as victims are often reluctant to tell either out of shame, fear of retaliation or helplessness.

If Your Child is Being Bullied:

1. Talk to your child. Determine the circumstances and specifics under which your child is being bullied. Encourage the child to talk about it and not feel threatened by retaliation. Assure him that you will use discretion in dealing with the matter and work together to come out with a plan to dissolve the situation.

2. Once you know the specifics, notify the school authorities to make sure that your child is safe in school. Work with school authorities to come up with effective consequences for the bully. If the bullying happens on the way to and from school, arrange for the child to walk with older supportive children or take the child until other inventions come into place.

3. Practice Disarming Methods

Bullies love reactions from the victim. They strive on intimidation and enjoy the superiority that comes with the bullying act. Teach your child a few ways to throw the bully off. Instead of reacting with fear, tears or anger, act brave and walk away. Use the "cold shoulder" approach-ignore the bully and wear him off. Whenever possible, buddy up with a friend as there is strength in numbers.

4. Talk to the Parents of the Bully

If bullying still persists despite preventive measures, call the parents and let them know about the bullying. Work with them to come out with some monitoring plans to prevent any further bullying.

Your Child is the Bully:

It is best to address the problem to give your child the best chance of changing his behavior.

1. Zero-tolerance

Let your child know in no uncertain terms that you have zero-tolerance for bullying. While you do not want to react in anger or issue rash punishment, the child should know that there are consequences for bullying.

2. Role Reversal

Ask your child, "How would you feel if you were the one being bullied?" This reversal of roles can help him recognize the negative aspects of bullying.

3. Apologize

Require your child to apologize to the child he bullied, either verbally, in a letter or both. This should act as a major deterrent.

4. Monitor His Behavior

If your child knows that you're monitoring his behavior with the help of the school authorities or the bullied child's parents, he would think twice about bullying.

5. Praise

Praise any efforts your child makes towards non-violent and responsible behavior.

5. Seek Help

If your child doesn't stop his bullying, seek the help of a child psychologist or school counselor to help him manage his behavior or feelings.

Learn more about this author, Angeline Oppenheimer.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.