Parents can protect and support their children through such a difficult situation by recognizing the signs of bullying or victimization as soon as possible and then taking appropriate steps to intervene.

Children are often too frightened to report any incidents of bullying to teachers or their parents for fear of the bully or being accused of being too weak, being tattletale. Hence cueing into those subtle signs is important.

If your child is being bullied they might come home with small scrapes, bruises or torn clothes and give you excuses like I fell down or ran into a door. Other signs are a lack interest in schoolwork, refusing to go to school in the morning and complaining about headaches and stomach aches. They might also avoid their normal school route or start asking for more money than their normal allowance in an attempt to pay bullies. Further signs are anger outbursts or even vomiting.

If you recognize any of these signs reassure you child that you love them and that they do not have to be frightened to tell you the truth. Explain that you will make sure that together you will find the best solution to this problem and keep them safe.

On the other hand, your child might show signs of being a bully. This will often show in antisocial and aggressive behaviour towards peers and adults, cheating, criminal behaviour or just bragging about how they exert their superiority at school or with friends.

Question your child but resist the tendency to blame yourself or your child. Encourage your child in a non-authoritative manner to take responsibility and show remorse. Make it clear that your do not tolerate bullying and insist that all bullying must stop and report this to the school. If your child's behaviour does not stop seeking professional support is an option.

These are just signs and one must remember that only by getting all facts will you be able to make the correct judgement and seek the right support.

If your child is bullied, contact your child's schoolteacher or head teacher first and do not retaliate by contacting the bullies' parents. Often the school has no clue about what is happening so they welcome any feedback and should act immediately. Hence it is important always to get the cooperation of the school first. They can act as the mediating ground especially if both families are socially involved.

If the school does not respond appropriately and the bullying doesn't stop you should call a parental support groups to get advice and if needed report the school to the school authorities

In the meantime continuously nurture your child self-esteem by rewarding positive behaviour, getting them involved in sports activities. Also, sending your child to self-defence lessons can increase their confidence and strengthen their social skills. Yet do not encourage your child to fight back as this will most likely result in your child being expelled.

It is never easy to deal with a bullying incident on your own so do not hesitate to seek support for yourself and your child. A problem shared is a problem half-solved.

Here are a few websites that might be useful:

http://www.greatschools.net/cg i-bin/showarticle/2697

http://kidshealth.org/parent/e motions/behavior/bullies.html

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/news/ releases/bullying.cfm

http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/ind ex/parents/your-childs-health- and-safety/common-parental-con

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