by Dina Sullivan

Created on: May 14, 2009   Last Updated: May 15, 2009

How do you get rid of past baggage? I have had this problem for longer than I can remember. It's not easy, and sometimes I think it's just not possible. But it is, you just have to reach deep down inside and learn to forgive others and most important yourself. Because if you can't forgive yourself first, the rest of the forgiving is just a lost cause. So how do I deal with it? It might not be the best advice, but it's mine and what I do.

First, I just tell myself that whatever the other person says to me or about me, I can't control. I can only control my thoughts and what I think. And I choose to react to it, either it's bad or good. Bad is usually what we all have problems with. I tell myself to just let it go. Don't sink down to that person's level and strike back. Just ignore what they say because you know it's not true. Arguing with them and playing their little drama game is exactly what they are striving for and want. So by just ignoring them will take the fire out of 'britches'. And if it doesn't, that's their problem because their words are falling of deaf ears and they won't get any satisfaction out of no response. If they do, they are shallow and immature.

I know this can be really hard, especially if the comments hits home really hard, and they will, but usually the feeling and need to strike back at that person will fade. Believe me, in a few days you're going to be thankful you didn't respond. More often than not, when you do respond to comments that are really bad, you regret it. I have been there so many times, and nine times out of ten, I'm glad I kept my mouth shut, or my fingers shut, "e-mail". Speaking of e-mail. It's always easier to argue with e-mail, and you can say some really hurtful things, because you're not face-to-face with that person and you feel you can say everything and anything. Most likely if the person was right there in front of you, you wouldn't be saying the things you would in e-mail. Am I right?

You will feel better and able to let go of past baggage if you just don't respond to bad comments. You won't have a little drama party with that person and give them the satisfaction they want, and it will be easier to ignore. I know it's not the best advice, but it's my advice and that's what I try to do to get past it all. Well, that's what I have, hope it helps a little. Remember, they are just words, and that's all.

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