by christina christou

Created on: May 14, 2009

The problem with domestic violence is that it is a learnt behaviour. As with all learnt behaviour it is hard to break. The abused is involved in this behaviour as much as the abuser. If the abuse has been a constant part of the person's life then in effect the person has been programmed to be a victim.

Domestic abuse is a vicious cycle where the abuser needs a victim and the victim has become trapped in this behaviour. This has been termed as the Battering Cycle (Browne, 1979). It becomes a type of dance where the dancers are linked in a circle twilling around and around and will only stop when the circle is broken. This is not easy especially if abuse has been there since a young age.

What makes a person become an abuser? What makes someone stay when they are being constantly abused? Learnt behaviour can be changed but it takes time, love and understanding. Do we just heal the abused and leave the abuser to abuse someone else? For as statistics have shown, in the majority of domestic violence cases, once the abused has manged to leave, eventually the abuser finds another person to fill in as victim.

There are different profiles of abusers. One profile is the socio-path who are violent to everyone they come in contact with. These people usually men, also have drug and alcohol issues too and are more likely to have witnessed or experienced abuse as a child. They have very rigid gender roles and are difficult to change. If their partner does manage to leave, they will soon find a replacement.

Another profile of an abuser is where there are attachment issues of the abuser. The abuse may only be emotional, but it is just as debilitating, where the abuser threatens that they will commit suicide if their partner leaves. There are apologies and promises of it never happening again reinforcing the Battering Cycle. This profile may benefit from therapy.

The most difficult profile to recognize as being an abuser is the Dysphoric or Borderline character. They are the 'lady's man' , the charming person who sweeps you off your feet, who is well turned out and is usually very eloquent. They can actually turn their victim's minds into believing that it is all their fault. They rarely say sorry, because they believe they are right. They have attachment issues and emotionally volatile, probably caused through trauma of separation in childhood.

There are support services which are able to help both the abused and abuser, but due to the psychological effects

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