by Bridget Webber

Created on: May 14, 2009   Last Updated: June 11, 2009

By putting things into perspective you will probably discover that people do not, infact, hate you because you have achieved success. They resent you. This is because your mere presence reminds them that they haven't yet achieved as much as they would like to. Some people, it must be said, will actually see you as a role model and want to learn from you. However, those who feel, and possibly act, negatively towards you are really revealing more about how they feel about themselves than they are about you.

Jealousy can creep into our lives in many different ways, and how we attribute success and failure to different events can affect how we see other people. It starts way back in the playground of our youth. While one child views another who has better clothes or toys than them, or who is clever at math or science, as bright and someone to be emulated, others will view such a child as an enemy to be envied and disliked.

If the latter way of thinking is never challenged, or in some cases is encouraged by caregivers, the child is likely to grow up into an adult who naturally leans towards treating people who are successful with disdain and resentment. The first child, who admired the successful one, is far more likely to become successful themselves and not to resent others who do well in life.

When it comes to personal relationships there can be difficulties when one party moves on to success and leaves the other behind. This is because the dynamics of the relationship can change. When one person becomes successful they generally do so by working hard, learning more and focusing on where they want to be.

All of this effort means that they don't have as much time, or enthusiasm anymore, to spend on activities with friends from the past who have time on their hands. This can lead to old friends feeling rejected, or worst still, jealous that a friend who once seemed to be just like them now has so much more.

True friends, however, will usually be happy for you. They may be surprised, or even a little perturbed, by your changing relationship on some levels, but they will cheer you along from the side and want the best for you.

It can be painful to discover that friends, or even people you don't really know, feel negative about you when you are just trying to make the best of your life. The thing to remember though, is that you will be able to sort your true friends from those who you just spent time with, and people who you never knew anyway, need not affect you unless you let them.

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