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Years ago, I became the stereotypical "bitter single girl" after my second marriage shattered abruptly. I had found out that the man I loved with all my heart, who I thought was my best friend in the world, had a secret side of himself that I had no inkling about during the relationship. It was also criminal and cruel, causing the explosion from marriage to arrest in a matter of moments for him, and just a huge explosion for me. That was how I found myself bitter and single. However you have gotten to this miserable place, it's time to get out of it and move forward into a better life for yourself and your future romantic partner.

The first step is the hardest for most people. You need to find a way to forgive whoever it was that transformed sweet and loving you into this cold and bitter woman you are today. Forgiving the person doesn't mean that you are going to set yourself up to be hurt by them again, but it does mean that you are going to let go of the anger that is destroying you and your potential future relationships. Harboring resentment and anger is allowing this person to continue to hurt you. Studies show that those who don't forgive are prone to more illness and general discontent with their own lives. This is not what you want, right?

Next, you must get out of the habit of placing all men in the same box. They are not all the same. There are some really great men in this world, but you'll never know that until you give one a chance. It is completely unfair to think that because you were let down by one man, all the rest are going to follow suit. None of us wants that sort of pre-judgment, so we shouldn't do it to others.

Many times, bitter single girls have developed a need to control everything...themselves, their circumstances, the people around them, and their relationships, when they exist. They do this to feel like they are protecting themselves, but it really doesn't work out that way. They are putting walls up between themselves and the people that care about them. Giving up the control is another way that you can let go of the bitterness and find love that doesn't hurt the next time.

Being the bitter, single girl may seem like a good way to even the score. It may even feel good for a short time. But, after a while, it only leaves you lonely, angry, and old beyond your years. For the sake of your health, your heart, and your future, let go of the bitterness and regain your sense of love and peace. You deserve it!

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
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