by Matt Bird

Created on: May 13, 2009   Last Updated: July 08, 2010

Some guys know exactly what to get their lady friend. They're in tune with those special items she loves and can pick out the perfect present for every occasion. Yet these men are few and far between: the rest have a less than perfect grasp of what their girlfriend might want, and so the results of their shopping experience are... hit-and-miss, at best.

So, as a fellow clueless male, this writer is here to help them out. Here's a little list of some of the worst possible gifts you could get your girlfriend. Avoid these things at all costs or you may wind up a bachelor faster than you can say 'whoops'.

- Anything you like. Let's just get this out of the way now. If you have a passion she doesn't share then you should never get her something that exists as part of that passion. You'll know you basically bought it for yourself, and even worse, so will she. Video game consoles are usually big in this area. Leave the Xbox at the store and check out some clothing instead.

- Actually, for that matter, no clothing. Not unless you know her size and tastes, anyway. Women are generally a lot pickier when it comes to clothing than men, and there's nothing worse than watching her face struggle to be thankful when she opens a box and sees a top she hates. Besides, men generally don't realize that women's sizes are not comparable to men's, so you'll probably end up something that would make her look like a whale. If you don't know her tastes, avoid women's fashion.

- Same goes for perfume. Women are very choosy about how they smell. Unless you're in tune with that smell, avoid perfume.

- A book on dieting. What are you, an idiot? You're telling her you think she's fat. Unless she specifically asked for this you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to the single life. This applies to gift certificates for weight loss courses. (Actually, if you go that route you might want to say your prayers, as she'll soon be plotting your death.)

- A gift card. Again, unless it's for a store she absolutely adores, a gift card just says you're too lazy to think of something special for her. And if you simply must buy one, try and go with her on the day she spends it - that way, at least, you're buying a gift by proxy.

- Appliances. Trying to turn her into a workhorse for your own benefit? No? Then avoid these items. This rule is less stringent if there's something you both really need, or if you're a newly-wed couple who's just moving in together. You'll probably need those extra electrical gadgets.

The general rule is to know what your girl wants. Listen closely whenever she opens your mouth and mentally jot down whatever she mentions. Surprising her with an item she only mentioned once to you is guaranteed brownie points. If you're guessing at what to buy her, you're probably in trouble - in which case you should probably swallow your pride and treat her to a day at the mall. It'll cost a lot more money, but at least you'll have learned your lesson.

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