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How can parents deal with bullying?

by Ronnie Dauber

Created on: May 13, 2009   Last Updated: August 05, 2009

Parents can deal with bullying by doing something about it. Today, the issue has spread beyond simply telling one child to stop picking on another, or telling another child to stand up for himself. When we ignore the issue, we force the children into situations that they aren't prepared to deal with, and sometimes we create bigger problems in them that hinder their future years.

Children are innocent and become what they are taught. If they live with love, approval and praise, they develop an attitude of sharing, caring and respect. This is the foundation for their character and they will treat others the same way because that is how they are treated. That is what they know to be right.

If a child lives in an atmosphere of anger, insecurity and criticism, he or she will develop an attitude of hatred, anger and aggression. Their natural yearning for love is absent in their life and while they innocently seek after it, the only attitude they know is the one they are being taught through the treatment and attitude of their parents or caregivers.

The Bully

When parents of a bullying child have been informed of their child's actions, they need to act immediately to prevent their child from developing further aggressive behaviours. They need to analyze their own lives and the attitude in their home to understand why their child reacts in an aggressive manner. Then they can make positive changes to help heal the child and prevent further negative attitudes that have led to their child's bullying.

If the parents are not able to make these changes on their own, they need to seek family counselling so that the issues can be dealt with honestly and openly. It's the results of a positive change that will affect the bullying child.

The parents need to take action the very first time their child is found bullying so that it can be dealt with at the onset, preventing further development of aggression in their child. It's more difficult to change a child's attitude and behaviour if they have been allowed to continue without correction. And as they get older, their negative attitude can lead them into serious, criminal offences.

The Victim

When parents first learn that their child has been bullied, they need to go directly to the parents of that child or to the school principal and voice their concerns. The bully's parents might not see the problem, especially if they are part of the problem, but the school will take issue with their concerns

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