by Nikolas Nies

Created on: May 13, 2009

The main purpose of FMLA is to allow employees time off from work to care for loved ones. It permits an employee to do this without concern for penalty from an insensitive employer. FMLA is not intended as a vacation, and an employee does not get paid when taking family leave. FMLA, even though necessary at times, is just as much a hardship on families as it is their employers.

When my first son was born, we had planned ahead and saved for time off without pay. I was able to take six weeks of family leave. It was the most wonderful time in my life. It was also the most tiring and challenging time in my life. Sleepless nights, adjusting to having a baby in the house, and caring for a wife who had just gone through childbirth was not a vacation. However challenging it was, it was a time when not having to spend time at work allowed me to bond quicker with my son. It allowed me to be available to get up with him in the middle of the night and feed him, while letting my wife get much needed rest. It allowed me to cook and clean, and do other household duties that she was not quite up to doing. Family leave allowed for a smooth transition with the introduction of children into our home.

When a man has to work through the time of childbirth, he can be penalized for just taking off to be present during delivery. The time that he is away from his family to perform his job can affect his job performance. It adds a level of stress to his life, worrying about what's happening at home. It can be a taxing time for a new father, who really cares about his family. However, he also has to worry about income at this same time. So how much time a father takes off should be carefully considered beforehand.

The amount of time a father takes with FMLA, should not be a decision that is made for him. A responsible couple will have talked about this decision and planned ahead. For some people, both parents going six weeks without pay is just impossible. Other arrangements should be made. However, if the couple can plan for it, six weeks is an optimal time to ease into the transition of another human being in your life.

True, there are those who do not take any time off, and don't seem to miss a beat. These individuals have mothers and mother-in-laws, or other family and friends that can step in and fill the void. How much you expect them to help should also be carefully considered. Those first few weeks are also a time when routines are developed. If you're content having someone else fill that position, it may be right for you. But if a father wants to be a part of everything that happens in his child's life, he should take some time to be that one who is there when his wife and new child come home from the hospital.

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