It doesn't matter your social status in life or what background you come from, bullying is a serious problem which needs addressing. From a young age a child can either become a target of bullying, or a child could be the bully. Whichever, knowing how to handle this serious situation helps in stopping it before it progresses into something tragic for the victim and the bully.

Bullying can stretch beyond verbal abuse. It can start out with name calling, but then progress up to actual bodily harm. Whatever the situation may be, if your child is the one being bullied or your child is the bully, act quickly to stop it.

Start first by establishing good communication with your child / children. When your child / children start to talk, try to always remain open, calm and with understanding. Patience goes a long way as well.

Some key clues to help you recognize if your child is being bullied can be found at mychildsaftey.net . Here are a few:

1. Loss of interest in school and extracurricular activities, frequent complaints of illness to avoid going to school, sudden decrease in academic performance, has few or no friends with whom he/she spends time with, unexplained bruises,scratches and cuts, seems sad, moody or depressed, has trouble sleeping and anxiety or low self-esteem.

2. Try to understand why your child may not want to fess up to being bullied. The threat of increased ridicule or physical harm can seal the lips of your child. Your child may remain silent about being bullied because they don't want their peers knowing. It's embarrassing and could show them as being weak in the eyes of their friends.

3. Talk to your child's teachers. Have them watch to see if your child separates him or herself from their peers. As parent you want to as aware of your child's comings and goings. Your child, though silent, will look to you for support. You are your child's safe haven.

"What if your child is the one doing the bullying", you ask? First, no matter how hard it is to accept, don't over react. Don't deny the situation or ignore it. There is probably some underlining reason why your child is acting out toward others or even yourself. He or she needs you to be willing to listen, be forgiving and understanding.

Some more key clues to help you recognize if your child is being a bully from mychildsaftey.net are:

1. Positive view towards violence, often aggressive towards adults - including teachers or parents, a marked need to control or dominate others or situations, a hot temper, impulsive, easily frustrated, often test limits or breaks rules, shows little sympathy towards others who are bullied.

2. Consider what kind of changes or happenings could be going on in your or your child's life. Are you going through a divorce? Is there more than the normal stress concerning your job or with workmates which causes you to act out towards your family? Has there been a recent death in the family? Have you recently made a move to a different location? Has your child been relocated to a new school? Whatever the reason, behavioral issues can arise leading to bullying because it's an outlet which eases their own insecurities.

Remember the effects of bullying are felt by all involved. The Bully and the victim need help. As a parent, you need to know how to deal with the bullying. Now might be the time for professional help, maybe from a mental health doctor. When emotional issues are involved, a professional mental health doctor can be objective and help your child and you (as the parent) come to grips with the reason / reasons why the problem exist in the first place.

Don't allow the thought that the bullying will eventually pass go unchecked. Get help for your child, get help for you and get the situation resolved. Your child's well-being lies in your hands. By being quick to react, no matter how long it takes to get your child to open up, you are giving your child positive steps to move ahead in the right direction.

Learn more about this author, Melissa R. Bickel.
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