by Chuck Correll

Created on: May 12, 2009

The Balloon Guy, The Event Manager and The Self-Indulgent Mom:

Have Americans gotten so ridiculous with legal restrictions and counter-opposing self-indulgence that we've shot ourselves in our collective feet? After my experience this weekend, I am beginning to see why other cultures might look at us and laugh, even though it may be a somewhat muted laugh. This is still the greatest country in the world, but our priorities have gotten off track a bit. The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The company I work for rented a space at one of the local malls in St. Louis to help increase business because of the lousy economy. The owner, let's say his name his Bob, thought the mall would be a great idea, even though most people don't go to a mall to buy products like ours; let's say our product is wooden decks.

So, we're supposed to sell a deck to a woman whose sole purpose for visiting the mall is to buy a new negligee to spruce up her and her husband's love life. Hi mam, I see you've been to Victoria's Secret to buy some 'private attire'. Would you like to buy a nice exotic wood deck to go with that?

Well, you get the picture. I'm not particularly excited about the whole setup and prepare myself for the worst. The first day hundreds of people walk by, which is more than I thought would be there, and two stop to speak with me. That's two, as in between one and three. One asks if we could just sell the wood, because her husband can actually build the deck. The other one says our deck looks great but they just bought a new house with a deck and won't need a new one for another twenty years or so. I tell her to take a card and call us in twenty years. After all, estimates are free.

So, the first day is a bust but that's ok because tomorrow, Sunday, is the day. We're going to have a balloon guy! He will make latex giraffes, turtles and toucans for the kids. We will lure the kids into the area and sell some decks to their parents! It will be a great success!

After my enthusiasm waned, I thought about it some more. A new deck doesn't seem to factor into the needs of any kid or parent that was attracted to you initially by virtue of a balloon, but what do I know?

The next day, Sunday, I'm the only one working the booth when the balloon guy arrives. He's really a very nice man. We talk a little bit as he prepares his act. I ask him how he got into balloons. He says he was an actor at one time

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