by B.E. Batson

Created on: May 11, 2009

So anyway, just before I went to prison I tried to rob a, well let's just say "an establishment that had a safe". Now I had a partner that was actually the safe cracker, I was the muscle or the brains well I must have been the muscle since I ended up in prison. I took a gun to be safe.You know in case we got caught I would be safer , I mean your always safer with a gun than without one right? But they do put a safety on most all guns. Safety for who surely not for the one holding the gun. I mean thats why they put the barrel pointing the other way. Sometimes safety is the most obvious thing. The safety is for the one your pointing the gun at. Which begs me to ask why did you point the gun at them? Well anyway back to my story. We right in the middle of the big heist and I was keeping a sharp eye out and my partner was busy getting out his tools of the trade. Safe cracking was something I never learned anything about and this guy like most had no intention of teaching me anything. Hell he didn't even want me to watch him him once he got started. That made me feel kinda weird you know kinda like a third wheel. I felt awkward I started shuffling my feet around, started looking around at the oddest things and tried to look as if everything I saw looked interesting. I even started to put my hands in my pocket, which scared me to death I thought I was a gonner for sure.Shaken as I was I instinctively turned to see if my partner had seen what happened. I was glad to see he had his back turned to me.He was too busy being a master safe cracker. He was all bent over down on his knees snuggled up to the safe just cracking a way. So now my curiosity was up. I just had to have look at what he was doing I mean how hard could it be. You just turn the knob and listen to the tumblers right? I wondered if he was using a stethoscope or not.I looked around the room as if I was looking to see if anyone could see me looking. Then i crept up behind him and inched my way up to where I could see and see I did. In fact I couldn't believe what I saw. He was fondling the knob in weirdly gentle erotic way AND at the same time he was licking it on the end. You know in slow flicking motions. I almost threw up and stumbled backwards. Then from the commotion he jumped up and started screaming at me. So naturally I shot him. Which brings us back to the part of me going to prison. And I can tell you from personal experience that guns and safe sex are not a safe combination.

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