by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: May 11, 2009

Marriage should never be a trap, but there are times that it can feel that way. More often than not, the marriage can work, but only if the two partners choose to put forth the effort to make it work. No great marriage just happens, people make them happen. A man and a woman who value their relationship enough to fight for it and make it work through the hard times, and through the times when it feels like a trap. Whether you are a man or a woman, you should stay in your marriage, fulfilling your commitments even when it's hard, in most cases. There are, however, a couple of exceptions that are different than the average marital troubles to be worked through as a couple. In these, a woman may feel trapped but should do all that she can to get out of the marriage and move forward with a healthy life of her own.

In the case of domestic abuse, a woman may feel this way. She doesn't see any way out of the circustance she's in. She is probably totally dependant on her husband for most of her daily provisions. Most abusers are also controllers and do not allow the woman to have the things she feels she would need to escape. Money, self-esteem, friends and family, hope...these are items that she is seriously delinquent in.

However, in today's world of opportunity, this need not be the case. A woman can gain employment to make her own money. She can build her self-esteem back up, even if that requires the help of a counselor for a time. Her friends and family will almost always understand the reason for her lack of communication during the marriage once they realize what she's been going through. Even before she finds a job, she can get help from the government while she is trying to get on her feet. Money may be tight during that time, but the relief of emotional stress will be so wonderful that she won't mind that nearly as much as she thinks she will. If she has children, seeing their new sense of joy and childhood play will be reward in and of itself. It won't be perfect overnight, but it can work out and it does get easier.

There are also cases where a woman finds herself married to a man who has been unfaithful. A marriage can get through an infidelity if the husband and wife want to work together to heal all the hurt and damage that has been done. If not, though, as in the case where the man refuses to end the affair completely or continues to engage in new affairs, a woman should move forward in her own life, without him. And, she can! Times have changed over the past decades and it is a world today that allows a woman to support herself and her children in every way.

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