by Denise Calaman

Created on: May 11, 2009   Last Updated: August 06, 2009

My husband whistled and practically skipped his way into our family physician's office. He was in a jovial mood even though he had an appointment to get his first physical in over five years. He wasn't the least bit anxious as he had other things on his mind. The next day we were leaving to go on a two week long tropical vacation. "You know I get this stuff done every week when I get my allergy shots. The nurse takes my blood pressure, listens to my heart and weighs me. So I'm not even sure why I need this physical, but it's no biggie. Whatever," he said. "Besides, Dr. Franklin is cool. I bet he'll just ask me a couple of questions and then we are off to Cancun for some sun and fun! Yahoo!" he added. The nurse called my husband back to the exam room and much to my surprise he wanted me to come with him. "What a treat!" I thought. I would NEVER invite him to watch me get a physical. Witnessing the number on the scale would be enough for him to go into hysterics. He may even start to wonder how he could have married someone with such an enormous number!

My husband put on his paper gown and mooned me over and over as we made juvenile jokes about the gown being so see-through. "I wonder why you need to wear that?" I asked. "You wouldn't have to put on a paper gown just to get shots," I added.

"Mmmm, I don't know. Probably just easier for Dr. Franklin to do what he needs to do, you know test my reflexes, listen to my heart and stuff." Just then Dr. Franklin came in the room, greeted us and went right to work examining my husband. The entire time we made faces back and forth when Dr. Franklin's back was turned. Our doctor is Mr. Magoo's look alike, less than five feet tall with an enormous bald head and thick glasses. Dr. Franklin continued to poke and stick my husband numerous places asking him all kinds of questions and noting his chart. He laid his clipboard on the counter and walked over to the sink. Growing up in my house we called Dr. Franklin's sink, "The Sink". Nothing good ever came off of "The Sink".

Dr. Franklin pulled a pair of rubber gloves out of an industrial sized box of rubber gloves. He then asked my husband to remove his gown and he looked at me and asked, "Do you want to stay for this?" My husband's eyes grew wide as did mine when Dr. Franklin proceeded to snap the gloves onto his sausage shaped fingers. When he reached for the petroleum jelly my husband's face went ashen. But just as he was about to dip his pointer finger in the

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>