by Christine Sandor

Created on: May 11, 2009

The Relationship road is anxiety provoking whether you have a challenge with anxiety issues or not. Suddenly thrust into the unknown world of considering another and the possibility of making that person a regular part of you life can bring up things you didn't even realize you had concerns about. As you step into the world of dating, it is important to both recognize the nature of the beast while remaining committed to your self.

We easily forget about ourselves and our needs as we enter into the dating scene. We are focused on both making the other person happy and keeping them attracted to us as well as determining whether this one is the one. We stop considering our own desires and begin to start feeling anxious about every aspect of the new relationship.

Deciding to simply be in the moment and not future oriented will ease much of the anxiety that accompanies dating. If we are able to put aside expectations, for both ourselves and our date, we are able to relax and simply be in the present. Admittedly, this is easier said than done.

Prior to the date, write down expectations and worries. If you have a confidant, it might even be a good idea to share the list with another. Often we are so caught up in the fears we are not able to step back and look at the reality of the situation. An outside opinion can be valuable in bringing us back to the moment. If there is no one to share the list with, simply being able to see your fears and worries on a piece of paper can help you take a more objective look. You might even want to rate each concern as to how realistic or important they really are to you.

When you have been able to see what your concerns and worries are, and placed them into a container of importance or severity, you are then in a better place to relax. Certainly, some fears are very real and it may be that whatever is being invoked in you has a basis in genuine concern. It may also be that you find there is a connection between the anxiety and a very real experience of the past. Either way, when you are clear about the origin of the anxiety, you have better control over it's power.

Taking some deep breaths and recognizing that a little anxiety is not only normal, but perhaps a good thing will help you step into the dating scene with a little more ease.
Awareness and a vow to take care of yourself and your needs while developing a relationship will make the dating an experience to be enjoyed, not feared.

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