The clothes make the man, or so some ingenious clothing manufacturer would have us believe. But is it really the clothes, or is it something much more personal? Men have spent centuries trying to figure out exactly how to be more attractive to women. And though there seems to be no definitive answer, most have come to the conclusion that the secret lies somewhere between flaunting great wealth and power, to splashing on Hai Karate.
What do women really look for in a man?
Media portrayals suggest that the perfect man might be a combination of George Clooney and Brad Pitt, though Will Smith and Barack Obama get high votes also. But what about the average guy, with average looks, an average body type, and average income? Is it really wealth and power that women are attracted to in a man? Or, is it the strong confidence that comes with being comfortable with who he is, and where he is at any given point in his life?
Actually, based on several national surveys, women are more attracted to personal qualities than material possessions. Becoming more attractive to women has less to do with what a man has, as long as he's hard working and trying to have something. Women like men who are well adjusted and live a balanced life, men who take life and relationships seriously, but don't take themselves too seriously. They are attracted to men who don't have to follow the crowd, but can be comfortable in one.
Characteristics and traits women look for in men
Women differ on which characteristics and traits are most important, but most have a pre-conceived idea of what is appealing to them in a man. Here are a few that top the list:
- Self Confidence. Women like men who know who they are, and are comfortable being who they are. They also like a man who knows what he wants, and goes after it.
- Sense of Humor. Women like men who can laugh easily, but not at the expense of others. They are attracted to men with sharp wit, and an easy going personality. They like suggestive jokes, but not dirty ones.
- Intelligence. Women like men who are well read and well informed. They are attracted to men who know a little about a lot of things, but not know-it-alls or show offs.
- Physical appearance. Women are attracted to men who take care of themselves. Most women like men who are toned and well conditioned, but bulging biceps aren't necessary. They also are attracted to men who dress well, but not one who over-dresses for casual occasions. Under dressing is also a no-no. Clean and appropriate attire is the key, and clothes that fit are a big plus.
David Buss, a psychology researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, published the article, "Attractive Women Want it All: Good Genes, Economic Investment, Parenting Proclivities, and Emotional Commitment" in Evolutionary Psychology. According to Buss, "When reviewing the qualities they desire in romantic partners, women gauge what they can get based on what they got."
Buss adds that most women attempt to find all of the qualities important to them in the same man, but that some women will trade some characteristics for others when they find themselves attracted to men with most of what they are looking for in a man.
Becoming more attractive to women
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's only skin deep. There isn't much a guy can do to change his physical appearance outside of embarking on a good exercise program, but there are things men can do to become more attractive to the opposite sex.
- Treat a woman like a woman, and not like an object of your sexual fantasies.
- Glance at a woman and smile. Don't ogle at her and lick your lips.
- Offer to buy her a drink, but don't think that automatically entitles you to enter her space.
- Keep your attention on her, even in the presence of other attractive women.
- Be yourself, and not a carbon copy of every other guy in the room.