by Jenny Tolley

Created on: May 11, 2009   Last Updated: May 13, 2009

I am 100% in favor of father's rights after a child is born, but I don't think fathers should have a say as to whether or not a woman has an abortion. My opinion has nothing to do with denying men equal rights. On the contrary, I think men can often be as good or better parents than women. However, it's a biological fact that males are not capable of carrying babies or giving birth. Therefore, after a man fertilizes a woman's egg with sperm, he's off the hook until the baby is born. He risks nothing from a pregnancy except a potential loss of income. A pregnant woman, on the other hand, could be putting her health or even her life on the line.

The way I see it, until a baby is born, he or she is a part of the mother's body. It's the mother's body that nurtures and protects a developing fetus. It's the mother who endures the aches and pains of pregnancy and ultimately has to go through labor or surgery to deliver the child. It's the mother who has to put up with public scrutiny and comments from well meaning people as to how she should take care of herself while she's expecting. The mother is the one who may end up at risk for pregnancy induced conditions like gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia. Women still occasionally die when they give birth, too.

Men, on the other hand, don't have to watch their bodies change when they are expecting a baby. They may develop sympathy bellies, but they don't have to deal with the back pain, the throwing up, the frequent urges to urinate, and the heartburn that comes with a typical pregnancy. They also don't have to miss work to go to doctor's appointments or risk their careers by taking time off to have a child. And typically, it's the mother who ends up taking care of the baby once it's born, too. In fact, a man might want the mother of his child to have the baby, then change his mind after it's too late to have an abortion. It's much easier for him to walk away if he changes his mind than it is for a woman.

I think that if a man could assume ALL of the risks that come with pregnancy as well as take on the exhausting job of carrying an unborn child should the mother grow tired of it, he would be entitled to have an opinion about whether or not a woman should have an abortion. But at this point, it's not possible for a man to take on much more than a financial risk when a woman gets pregnant. Since the woman is taking almost all of the risks, I think whether or not she carries an unborn child should be entirely up to her.

I do have empathy for men who want to be dads, however, and wish they were more consistently afforded rights when it comes to their children who are already born.

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