by Ally Hart

Created on: May 11, 2009

Relatives, we all have them. Some can be best friends while others not so much. Every family goes through their own share of problems, some are resolved on their own while others might need someone to confide in. We always have that relative who doesn't mind lending an ear, but then gives their two (most of the time unwanted) cents upsetting the whole situation.

There is nothing wrong with seeking advice from family, it can actually strengthen relationships. Wisdom of older relatives can be helpful seeing they have been around longer and have probably experienced much more than you. But if you start noticing that relative knows a little too much about your personal life from how many hours you work a day, how many dates you went on *if your single*, all about your kids, or how much your last pay was, time to put the breaks on.

The worst part about a relative meddling is that they either do it because they think its showing they care even though it bothers you, or they simply are the kind that just cant keep their nose out of other peoples business.

Either way, as much as you'd like to rudely say "stay out of my personal affairs" take the chances are they might do it as a way to show they care. The worst possible thing you could do is be too blunt and hurt their feelings. Bridges burned cannot always be repaired.

Start by having a civil conversation. Explain to them that the meddling is damaging your relationship and has to stop. There is no need for battles if both parties become more understanding. Make sure to state exactly how you feel but also take notice to listen to exactly how the relative feels. Thinking of others as well as yourself is sometimes more favorable when you are dealing with family.

If the behavior continues there are ways to cut conversation simple so not to get into any detail you know would give the meddler a chance. You can have a civil conversation without having it be a tell all hour. If you feel your issue is too personal, find a more reliable source to confide in.

On a personal note having dealt with meddlers before, the best approach is to explain your feelings and try to listen to theirs. maybe something can be resolved. Otherwise sometimes it's just best not to let certain people know about certain things you wouldn't want their nose in.

Keep it simple, even though your feelings were hurt by the meddler but remember attacking someone could cause more hurt feelings and damage a good relationship.

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