The following jokes are not in any way or another, an attempt to degrade or poke fun at the natives' naivety. It is just a humorous way of looking at the transitions that we natives have to go through as modernization enters our world. The jokes may have various versions but these are the versions being circulated in our "circle". Since the jokes are passed on through the words of mouth and there are no copyright infringements involved, why not let the jokes be alive. Hit it!
SERIOUSLY?
There was once a Tribal Chieftain during the British Occupation who was invited to go to the State Capital to attend a meeting. Despite being respectable, he had not been able to experience or use modern amenities as he stayed in one of the remote parts of the country. His old lady tagged along with him for the trip. Both of them were illiterate and they were the very first amongst all the different groups of tribe to have the opportunity to go thus far - by air.
While they were in mid-air, the wife started to roll out her favorite "si-reh" or betel leaf which was commonly used in their tribe as one of the favorite past-time like smoking tobaccos. As usual after chewing the leaf concoction for a few moments, saliva flooded her mouth and being ignorant, she just spat it out of the plane's window; thinking that being transparent means it was open. The saliva splat onto the window and as the stewardess passed by her, she was horrified to see the "blood stain" saliva on the window.
Calmly, she asked the wife: - Are you serious?
The wife calmly answered the stewardess back in her own dialect: "Si-reh meh tok" (Yes, this is Si-Reh), which the stewardess assumed as: "Yes, it's serious."
Panicked, the stewardess tried to get help while trying to appear composed and the wife was confused with all the commotions around her. Finally their translator came to the stewardess' rescue, saying that there was nothing wrong with the wife. The stain on the plane's window was that of the "Si-reh" which made the saliva red and not blood as had been assumed by the stewardess. The wife had thought that the stewardess was asking her whether she was taking "Si-reh" the betel leaf and she had said "yes".
FLUSHING IT DOWN
A tribal chief was invited to attend a gathering in town. After a few days' walk through the jungle, he and his escorts (the men from the Office who invited him) finally reached their destination.
He was put into a hotel room with a young aide on standby because the Office was aware that the chief was not used to the modern amenities. The chief consulted his aide, who is one of his own tribe, and enquired where he could go to relieve himself.
Calmly, the aide guided him to the bathroom, explained to him about the usage of the toilet and demonstrated on how to flush after using. Dazed, the chief stared at the twirling water in the toilet bowl and then looked out of the washroom window.
Satisfied, the aide closed the door to the bathroom and waited nearby. He was shocked when he heard the chief shouting at the top of his voice in their dialect from the washroom:
"Move away, you people down there. I'm going to do my stuff or else it will fall onto you! Move away quickly!"
The chief had thought that his "stuff" would drop straight down the pipe, onto the street below.
THE FLYING RUBBER SLIPPERS
In the early years, there was no road linking the nearest town in our areas. The only mean of transportation was by boat or air. Normally the locals would go around using their boats to go to the nearest destination but for those who wanted to go further away, they would need to use air which was being serviced by a Twin Otter which could seat 16 people. There was no stewardess aboard, only the pilot and co-pilot.
One of the village men was a proud father of a three sons who managed to secure jobs with the Government sector. To show their appreciations to their father's contributions, the children decided to bring him to the town where they worked and on the day when he was supposed to go, one of his sons came to pick him up from the interior and the next day they were at the airport waiting to board the plane. The children had briefed him on airsickness and he was confident he would be able to go through except for the scary thought of the plane falling down from the sky. The thoughts gave him butterflies in his tummy but he did not want to show. The weather was also not friendly to him for his first ever trip as it was raining and a bit windy.
When it was boarding time, everybody was rushing and he was quite relieved when they were already seated inside and lifting off. He closed his eyes all the way and his son thought he was sleeping. When they finally arrived and the door of the plane opened, all of them waited for their turn to exit. As soon as they were on the ground, the village man kept looking around him, as if searching for something. He went to look near the stairs as well as under the airplane.
Curious, the son and an airport worker asked him what he was looking for. The village man scratched his head and looking confused, told them that he was looking for his rubber slippers which he had left at the bottom of the plane's stairs just before boarding. He told them he couldn't find his slippers anymore.
Holding back their laughter so as not to offend him, the son told him that the slippers could have been left behind at the other airport. The village man may have thought that going into the plane was just like going into people's house (our native houses are built on stilts) whereby before you go up, you will have to remove your slippers at the bottom of the ladder. That is one of the customs of our race. What he did not know was that, his slippers had no way of "reuniting" with him upon his landing in the other town!
STUFF IT LIKE THIS
A middle-aged man came to the rural clinic one day, seeking advice. A young nurse was stationed at the clinic to assist the male medical officer who was away on call at that time.
The Man, shaking his leg endlessly: Nurse, I have 14 children. How to stop the babies from coming?
Young nurse, blushing a bit, holding up a small packet: Do you know about this?
The man, eyed the packet closely, squinted his eyes hard while trying to figure out what it was: No.
Young nurse, blushing even more: When you want to "do" with your wife, use this.
The man: How?
Young nurse took the stuff out of the plastic, rolled it onto her index finger and then held it up: Use it like this and then you "do".
The man: OK.
The nurse gave him some supply that could last for at least a month, taking into consideration that he might want to "do" it every day and asked him to come back for more supply the following month.
The next month, the man didn't turn up. The month after, he turned up towards the end of the month with an accusing look.
Young nurse: You didn't come for your supply last month?
The man, sounded disappointed: What for? My wife is pregnant again.
Startled, the young nurse tried to explain: Maybe you didn't use the stuff properly?
The man: I followed like what you've showed me. Before I "do", I rolled the stuff onto my finger and I "do" my wife with my finger pointing upwards, WITH the stuff on it!