by Darcey Lee

Created on: May 10, 2009   Last Updated: May 12, 2009

Desperation is far from attractive.

When someone appears desperate to have a mate this is the ultimate turn off. Men and women can be overly desperate. Back up the bus and take a look at what is going on.

When you view someone who is desperate for a relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is a needy and insecure person. When someone feels they can not survive without a relationship and go to extremes to have a relationship with someone this is a big red flag.

There are some people who actually beg someone to be their girlfriend or boyfriend. They cry and promise to do anything the other person wants, if they are rewarded with a chance to be their other half. How attractive is this?

Chasing to the point of being a stalker is also another form of desperation. Continuous text messages, phone calls, written letters claiming all the wants and desires, and always expressing their need for a relationship.

When someone hits on one person in a desperate manner then hits on another or more in the same desperate manner throughout a day. This kind of desperation is extremely unattractive. When a person is so desperate for a relationship, this signifies there are deeper problems than what appears. At first this can actually be cute if you are on the receiving end of things, but, the cuteness fades quickly when you discover the seriousness of desperation one can have.

People who have the signs of being desperate usually lack confidence. They need the other person to give them that security of feeling worthy. Insecurities are not hidden when ways of desperation show. Rejection leaves these people in a feeling of panic and in the result of being in a panic, they try to grab on desperately to feel some sort of stability in their life.

People who act this way push the potential person further away. This is not a character trait that is desirable. This is not a successful way of finding or having a healthy relationship. Most desperate people are rejected once they show how desperate they really are.

Desperate singles need to focus more on themselves instead of grabbing on to another to feel secure. A relationship is not a life support system to keep you breathing. Instead it is something that is, suppose to be comfortable and stable. Having a relationship with someone should be a stable foundation. If you are not stable yourself then how can you have a stable relationship with someone else? The result of this is bound to be rejection.

So sit back, take a breath, and work on your own self esteem and confidence. Insecurity and desperation will not bring you the healthy relationship you desperately seek to find.

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