by Heidi Hauptly

Created on: May 10, 2009   Last Updated: May 12, 2009

Thinking about the benefits of firm parenting I tend to think about my own children and even more so my six year old son. When he was three years old he found that he could push buttons. In his little mind he thought that if he kept pushing buttons I would eventually cave in because I would get sick of it and just let him get his way. I shortly learned that in letting him have his own way he became a rotten, spoiled little brat that would whine to get what he wanted and to make him be quiet I caved in. My husband noticed my parenting technique and kindly pulled me aside one night and informed me that what he was observing was not a good thing.

It was not good to raise our son to be a spoiled rotten brat. I had to get tough and not back down no matter how much he fussed, whined and complained because he did not get his way. Firm parenting generally means doing what is best discipline wise for your child without backing down. The child is not the parent and letting the child take over and have their way is their way of being the parent which they obviously are not. Well, this was not an easy thing for me to do because I wanted to not cause a scene in a store and began to get really tired and worn out at home.

I learned though that the more you do the same thing over and over firmly then eventually the child will get it through their head that mom is serious. I had a hard time being serious before because my son would try and look cute so I would cave in because I was laughing hard. It's quite hard to parent when your son or daughter might catch on and play into what is going on. That was what my son was doing. I had to try my hardest to not let his laughter get to me. Be firm and keep putting them back on the time out chair when they do something naughty. If they don't listen you have to be firm and place them on the time out chair. You do have to remember if they get up then you put them back.

I found that the first couple times of doing this it took forever but when he did get it through his head that I wasn't going to let him get up until he had his time out it went fast. He started to learn that what he was doing was not going to fly with me. Kids are very smart these days. I have heard it said that they are smarter then they used to be. They know when the parent is about to cave in or under stress and they play into that. That is why no matter what we have to be consistent and firm with our parenting. If we do not get tough or firm with our kids then they will walk all over us and get what they want and turn into spoiled rotten brats and I don't know too many people who want that for their kids.

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