by Chris Humpherys

Created on: May 09, 2009   Last Updated: July 04, 2009

What's all this fuss about steroid use? So what if Manny Ramirez recently tested positive for estrogen and fertility drugs? Who cares if Alex Rodriguez lied then lied then lied again about ingesting some unknown, under-the-counter, Dominican growth hormone? Performance enhancing drugs have so thoroughly permeated our national pastime that fans of the sport, if there are any left, have become numb to any new scandals. If it became public that Commission Bud Selig personally injected Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa during their 1998 home run chase, I'm not sure anyone would be overly surprised at this point. He might as well have, right?

So from here on out, let's flip the script. Since a still unknown percentage of baseball players regularly used steroids and since we're already building new stadiums that nobody can afford to get into, I say we take it one step further. I hereby submit we allow steroid use and simply enlarge the stadiums. Baseballs are already flying out of the new Yankee Stadium at a record-setting pace. Just keep the players on the juice and make the parks larger. It will give the fans more entertainment value for their hard earned dollar. Get Big Papi (back) on the juice so he can finally start hitting again. Just make the Green Monster that much larger. Raise the wall another ten or fifteen feet and let the syringe (back) into the clubhouse.

While we're at it, let's allow steroids in basketball too. Don't we all prefer seeing a movie in IMAX format as opposed to the smaller, run-of-the-mill, dollar theater variety? Just make the rims 12 feet tall like Dwight Howard once requested in a recent dunk contest and have at it. Dwight's delts already need double doors for comfortable entry into Amway Arena. Imagine him on the juice. Tear down the wall! Or better yet, imagine LBJ on HGH. At 24, he's already arguably the most phenomenal player many of us have ever seen. He'd be even more spectacular on the juice, wouldn't he? He'd be averaging quadruple-doubles in no time.

Allow steroids back into the NFL. Just make the field larger than a CFL field to accommodate for the larger player. Within seasons, we could entirely rewrite the record books. 2,000 rushing yard seasons would be a thing of the past. Dan Marino's single season passing record would also go down to beefed up quarterbacks with cannons for arms. And better yet, Brett Favre could come back and play for ten more years. I mean, who doesn't want more

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