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All of us have undergone the time when we thought the world has gone down on us because the person we love has gone for good. It is very hard to find love then lost it. I have experienced being devastated because the man I had cherished and loved left me for another woman. It is an unacceptable situation yet when one is so hurt the only thing left to do is bear the pain and let it subside with time.

It took years and years before I finally accepted that there was no more hope for me and the man I loved to get back to each other. He married another woman and we haven't seen each other for many, many years. It is easy to forget someone but when a child is involved it is so hard to erase the memories. Every time I looked at my son's face, I was looking at his father's face. Sometimes I wished I would see him again, sometimes I hated him so much for what he did to my son's life and mine. Although we lost communication for years, I still loved him and hated him. It was just a bad novel to me and I was still hoping that it would end like a fairy tale. Fairy tales always end with -and they lived happily ever after.

But I had more sense than living a lonely life that will only ruin my future and the future of my son. I decided to get over him and go on with life. It is not easy for me given that my son is a reminder of him and our past. Perhaps I was still lucky that I survived the ordeal in my life.

The hardest part of forgetting someone is when you force yourself to forget about the person who was once a part of your life. Do not force yourself to forget him. Getting over someone is a slow process and you must not rush it. The harder you force yourself to forget him, the more you will be reminded of your past. Leave the feeling there. It will heal with time and you will find out that things would be better for you if you just let the feelings go away in the most natural way.

Sometimes it is best to keep yourself busy. It is also advisable to go out with friends and have fun with them. If you are close to your family then arrange for a get together from time to time. This will make you feel better and it will also help you forget your past.

Refrain from using someone to get over someone. This will not be fair to the person and you are not being fair to yourself too. If you are not yet ready to go into a relationship, why go into it and worsen your burden. As much as possible do not go into a relationship when you are not yet ready. You will not be happy because you will always compare your ex to your present. Let time heal you first before getting into a real relationship.

Teach yourself to accept realities in life and move on with your life. Tell yourself that he has another life now and you must move on and live a life of your own. It is not as easy as we think but trying is better than not doing anything at all. If the man is already married and has a family of his own then you have to forget about him. You will only be hurting yourself if you keep thinking about a man who has already a family and can never be yours anymore.

Learn more about this author, Felisa Daskeo.
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