by Jennifer Mitchell

Created on: May 09, 2009

In this day and age, more and more people are finding that they are caring for the grandchildren. Logically, the numbers of single grandparents are also increasing. This group of people who have stepped up to keep their family as intact as possible, face challenges that younger parents and married grandparents do not. Numerous variables come factor in to the success of single grandparents raising their grandchildren to be healthy, productive adults.

The first set of variables pertain to the grandparent. The grandparent's age, health, stamina, employment, financial resources, and support network can either work for or against the situation. A grandparent who is 50, in good health, active, with stable employment, secure finances and a strong network of friends, family and community is likely to have an easier time. However, a grandparent who is older, in poor health, with limited financial resources and few supports may find that the challenges of parenting are magnified. As the grandparent ages, they may find that the everyday tasks of caring for a child to be more taxing. It's easier to handle a rebellious teenager at 45 instead of 65!

Also, a grandparent may have to give up their plans for retirement so that they can continue to have an income and insurance to provide for the child. Additionally, the grandparent will need to find additional day care for a child since he/she will need to keep working. Married grandparent's may be more likely to have at least one of them able to stay home with the child. A grandparent may really grieve the loss of their expected time to start slowing down and relaxing.

The other set of variables pertain to the child (or children). If the child is very young, the grandparent is making a longer commitment to care for the child which has a greater impact on the grandparent's life. If the child has physical or mental disabilities, this can complicate the amount of care the grandparent will need to provide by themselves. A single grandparent may get very worn out trying to raise a child with ADHD who's very active and hyper. If the child is defiant, an older person may have more trouble setting and keeping limits on the child. As the child ages, if he or she ever gets violent, there is no one available to protect the grandparent. If there are multiple children in the home, all of these issues multiply and you add the sibling rivalry and conflict on top of it.

The biggest "elephant in the room" is what happens if the grandparent dies or becomes incapacitated while they are still raising the child? The grandparent needs to have a will establishing who will be the guardian of the child if the grandparent is unable to care for him or her. Without a spouse, the child will probably have to move to a new home to live with people that are not as familiar.

There are support groups for grandparent's who are raising grandchildren and these types of groups can be very helpful in providing both education and emotional support for grandparents, single or married. When a single grandparent is considering taking in their grandchildren to raise, they really need to be honest with themselves about their limitations and what challenges the children will present not just today, but 5, 10 or 15 years from now. Keeping family together is important, but it should not be at the physical, mental or financial expense of anyone.

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