by Alexandra Pollard

Created on: May 08, 2009   Last Updated: May 19, 2009

Hey, did you know there's a recession going on? Sure you do. With all the doom and gloom media about the housing market, job losses, and the unemployment rate there's a lot of news to get you down these days. But don't worry, it'll blow over, and in the mean time we can enjoy the blessings that this recession has bestowed upon us. Here's some ways our stagnant economy has made lives a little more tolerable.

You know that guy that shows up to his son's little league game in a Hummer every year, then proceeds to brag about how great it is to own a Hummer? No longer do we have to tolerate this show off! Sure your Hummer looks great, but we've been driving that minivan for six years now and it gets 18 miles to the gallon! With all the money we are saving we can afford some pretty nice things too, like our house.

Or what about the great opportunities to meet new friends! You remember Dan and Eve from the office party? Of course not. All you remember is they've got some change to spare. So why not take up some new hobbies, chat them up a bit, and maybe you'll get a trip to the country club out of it. God knows your vacation budget is looking scarce this year, and you've got to take the kids somewhere this year.

Then there's the holidays. You always wanted an excuse to make sure your cousin's little terrors know exactly what Christmas is all about, good children getting toys, and these hellions aren't getting a thing. Sorry boys and girls, Santa has gone back to the North Pole and he says immediate family only this year. Now, put back your uncle's toupee, stop pulling the cat's tail and get out.

And of course there's gadgets. You know that camera you bought last year? The one with eighty functions and only three buttons that no one can figure out how to use? Doesn't seem like a such a good idea now? Well no sweat, just do the American thing and smash it to bits. Sure it's wasteful, but you'll probably feel better after blasting it to smithereens, and buying a new one will help stimulate the economy. Time to get out that sledgehammer and go to work! Hammer time!

So the next time the news has you singing the blues, remember life isn't so bad. Never has the economy given us such an opportunity to vent our disdain for the bosses annoying assistant, or the neighbors who always shine their headlights in your living room during game night. Now get out there and be a Scrooge with style!

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