Family values strengthen families, so how do we strengthen family values? Maybe the reader has never even thought consciously about this question, but all of us have an inate understanding of the importance of family values. Family values, the values shared by a family or even families, bind family together and strengthen the bonds between them. The following discusses some ways we can strengthen our family values and thus strengthen our family.
Traditions...
The observance and creation of family traditions helps strengthen family values. An outsider can easily determine a family's values by watching them observe their family traditions. These traditions draw families together, if only for a meal, and provide great opportunities for adults to pass on the importance of tradition in strengthening their family.
Does the family enjoy being together and take special steps to make sure they have regular time together? This teaches the next generations the value that family gatherings are important. Does the family spend time playing together, whether board games, athletics or just horsing around? This teaches the value of families having fun together and enjoying one another's company. Does the family spend time discussing spiritual things? This teaches the importance of the family's fundamental religions beliefs.
Do unto others...
The golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, personifies mutual respect, a family value worth having. By showing respect to your family members and expecting respect from them as well, you strengthen the family bond of trust. This also teaches the next generation to treat one another well and set respect boundaries for themselves. Teach by example and then spend time talking about it with your family members as teachable moments arise. This value probably underlies the rest and creates a base of trust and respect on which to continue building family values.
If we do unto others as we would like done to ourselves, we learn to respect others wishes and needs. We also learn to compromise, encourage and help out or fellow family members. The child has to learn to think from the other person's point of view and find a way to peacefully and respectfully find solutions to disagreements. This helps us build family values without imposing on others.
Grab the teachable moments...
As life happens, opportunities present for those teachable moments when adults can use an incident to share and strengthen family values. Maybe your children have been fighting and someone's feelings get hurt. This gives an opportunity to teach empathy. When the child overhears a news story about bullying and asks about it, you have the opportunity to teach a child how to stand up to and report bullying along with another lesson in empathy.
A relative passes away and you can use the opportunity to teach the family's traditions for these type of events. You can also teach them about death and the importance of letting family members know you love them before they are gone. The child's best friend's family goes through a divorce, and you use the opportunity to teach your child about the many things that go along with that situation.
Planned teaching...
Each time you take advantage of a teachable moment, you strengthen values in your children. However, you do not always have to wait for those moments to come along. It's alright to plan times where you sit down with your children and teach them values. Just as you use family dinners to teach the child table manners, you can make opportunities to discuss what your family values are and why they're important.
All of these ways to strengthen family values also have another side. By not doing them, you teach your children the opposite values and strengthen them in their lives. If you look for the above opportunites on a regular basis and use them to teach, you will strengthen your family values and your family's values. Regardless of what you feel constitutes a family value, you can strengthen it and create a cohesive family unit. Family values, passed on from generation to generation, give structure and strength to the family with added benefits to society as a whole as those values are extended to others.