by Olivia Bredbenner

Created on: May 07, 2009   Last Updated: June 03, 2009

If doctors are not empathetic it would be apparent to most of the patients in their care. However, you might need to know it is not what you'll see first when receiving care. Most physicians are both empathetic and objective during their physical assessment and treatment of patients. It is part of their bedside manner. Some doctors are better at this than others.

Try to be realistic in your expectations . Imagine what the poor doctor would feel like if they internalized every ache and pain they heard about each day ?

I believe that what patients really want and have every right to expect is that they are listened to when they make a visit to their doctor. Patients' complaints of physical discomfort interferes with their quality of life and they want to be heard and validated by their doctor.

Empathy alone and without the doctor's skill as a physician is like having a "yes man" in a corporation. One that thinks just agreeing with someone is enough, without any further responsibility.

A qualified physician can best show his empathy by using his diagnostic skills and getting to the cause of a patient's pain or distress, and providing pain control during the process, not by only holding your hand.

In reality, time constraints and the doctor's patient load directly impacts on the time spent with patients. Gone are the days when the doctor sat down and made small talk, gone are the days when a pat on the shoulder made you feel like your doctor was your friend. This is not because they don't care anymore.

If your doctor is fortunate enough to have a professional team in his office staff. They often work together with your doctor to support you emotionally and provide you educational material and information as needed. It is wise to know the name of your doctor's nurse. It is that connection that will be in contact with your doctor about you and will be your "speed dial" to him with any problems.

If you feel that you are not being cared for well, address your doctor with your concerns. Give him the opportunity to better inform you or refer you to another doctor. If you are still feeling that your doctor doesn't care enough or is not treating you properly, in most every health care institution there is a patient advocate who may help you navigate the health care system.

So getting back to the question again. Should your doctor have empathy? Absolutely. Will you recognize it? Probably not. Your doctor will use this as your base line, a fact, a clue to what your problem is and how to begin to treat you and hopefully return your optimum health status.

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