by Trixie Malone

Created on: May 07, 2009   Last Updated: July 23, 2009

Standing in a corner of the living room shaking, crying and trying to hold my body up after a beating you wouldn't give your dog at the tender age of 4. I clearly remember my words to God. " Dear God I promise, I will never do anything like this to my babies". Needless to say I am a survivor of abuse. In most cases for the cycle to be broken it takes counseling and education.

A mother of five girls and divorced living in a cramped two-bedroom house trailer on welfare, my mother was but barely a woman herself, abused in her childhood as well. With all of her bottled up anger and frustration, her fists flailed and screams whaled; they still haunt me to this day. I believe that, even at an early age we can recognize this behavior as wrong.

Believe it or not this prayer, this memory, has stuck with me my whole life. I have raised a son who I am tremendously proud of and whom, I never raised a hand to. I kept my promise to God. I could go on for hours about how proud I am of him, but there is no time. There are paths that I took growing up, intentionally or unintentionally for whatever reason. I truly believe that the most important path I chose was taking child development in my last two years of high school. This should be a core curriculum in our school system.There was so much to be learned in those classes from birth through teenage years and if I had the opportunity I would do it all over again.

It's been said thousands and thousands of times, as I am sure you have heard it or said it yourself. " People should have to have a license to have a child" Well this is true, people say; you must have a license to drive a car or to own a dog. Do we care so little about the well being of a human that we would not bother to educate them and try to make sure that all children grow up to be good decent parents?

Lets face it, we all have children or at least most of us do. Our society would be a much better place if we all had the opportunity to learn how to treat our children. In most cases abusive parents learned this behavior from abuse in the home they came from for whatever reason. I'm sure we have all heard the story of our parents or grandparents being taken to the woodshed for a beating. It's even in some stories we all read when we were young. It was acceptable behavior then and has carried on through generations.

Abuse is concealed in many different ways by the parent(s) who are abusing. I'm sure that most of these ways are already known. One way most people may not be acquainted with is, not allowing the child to have friends. Forbidding any contact other than school relationships, no overnights, school activities or anything that would allow for possible prosecution or removal of the child from the family home. This behavior of a parent insures that no family information (abuse information) is "let out of the bag" so to speak.

In all situations, it is so important to allow the child to speak and to be heard. Never raise your voice or a hand in anger , always have control over your emotions. Talking to your child and asking questions in return, will bring more respect and admiration as the child grows. Remember: Abuse is never OK! Education at home and at school can break the cycle of abuse.

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