by Bri Mark

Created on: May 07, 2009

'' God Help You If You Drive ''

I've burgled, raped and pillaged,

but I find it really funny,

the police don't try to catch me,

it would cost them too much money.

I've committed countless other crimes,

but I know I won't be sought,

it would mean the police would have to work,

that's why I won't be caught.

The reason they don't come after me,

is all to do with logistics,

drivers are an easy touch,

they boost the crime statistics.

Leave your vehicle without road tax,

the police will be in a rush,

you'll be fined, they'll steal your car,

then take it away to crush.

Overstay the parking lot,

you'll soon feel put upon,

when you come back to drive away,

you'll find your car is gone.

At first you'll think, it's stolen,

it's nowhere to be found,

then when you ask the police for help,

they'll say, '' it's in the pound ''.

You will not be shown sympathy,

of common sense there'll be a lack,

you'll have to pay them hundreds,

just to get it back.

It's akin to highway robbery,

but they think it's really deft,

in effect they steal your car,

but don't get charged with theft.

If I get caught committing murder,

all I do is be misleading,

but woe betide the drivers,

whenever they're caught speeding.

They'll tell you you're on camera,

we've got you banged to rights,

if you dare try to argue back,

they'll say you went through red lights.

If you try to claim you're innocent,

you're well and truly sunk,

they'll say you smell of alcohol,

then charge you with being drunk.

They'll treat you like a piece of dirt,

their attitude will be abrupt,

is it any wonder,

we think they're all corrupt.

To the police you're an easy target,

why look for the robbers stash,

it's easier to pick on drivers,

to the police we're worth more cash.

Every single driving offence,

carries a hefty fine,

penalty points on your license,

if you step out of line.

The easiest way to beat them is,

take it easy don't make a fuss,

get rid of the wretched car,

then jump on a bloody bus.

It's a really sad indictment,

but sadly it's a fact,

commit any crime you want to,

but don't breach the road traffic act.

The weight of the law will come down on you,

they'll give penalty points,

you'll then be banned from driving,

you'd get less for selling joints.

Ask a policeman what his job is,

they'll say solving and preventing crime,

but drivers are the easy touch,

for real criminals they have no time.

As crime levels soar throughout the world,

police targets must be met,

motorists are the easy option,

it's you they'll be out to get.

When a serious crime's committed,

it's put to the back of the shelves,

the reason they ask for witnesses is,

they can't solve the crime themselves.

They'll bully and intimidate you,

their harassment will go far,

what heinous crime are you responsible for,

driving your beloved car.

So the moral of this story is,

that's why real criminals thrive,

you can murder and rob just who you like,

but, '' God Help You If You Drive ''

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