by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: May 07, 2009

Most families have a least one relative that falls under the category of embarrassing. It may be a loud aunt or a drunk cousin or possibly a parent that has no taste in clothing. The possibilities are staggering. There are times that you don't want to deal with these issues. It can make you want to put your head in the sand until the offender has disappeared. There are ways for dealing with an embarrassing relative without hurting their feelings. Here are a few tips:

Acceptance

The most important thing to remember is that every person has different personalities and styles. You can only be embarrassed if you allow yourself to be. Accepting those relatives that embarrass you is the first step in dealing with the problem. It is obviously not a problem for the person that is embarrassing. If it isn't, it might be time to simply accept and love them for who they are.

Offer Help

When embarrassment is caused by an action of a family member, such as alcoholism, there can be an answer. First of all, you will have to confront the offender. Be as diplomatic as possible about it. Causing the other person to feel as though you are attacking him/her will only put him/her on the defensive. Sit down to talk to this person and state your feelings about how the drinking changes his/her personality which in turn embarrasses you. Offer information on groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous. It may be necessary to tell the person that until he/she seeks help, you can no longer be around him/her.

Go Shopping

If the offense is simply a clothing matter, you could offer to take the relative on a shopping trip. You don't have to let him/her in on your embarrassment. Make suggestions for clothing while you are out. He/she may well appreciate the advice and you will have fun all at the same time.

The Bigmouth

Short of telling someone that he/she is embarrassing you with their loud voice and rude comments, there isn't much you can do about this one. The only other option is to bring attention to the person so that he/she knows she is being too loud. This sometimes results from hearing problems. People who don't hear well often talk much louder yet don't realize it. If you feel this is the case, you might offer advice on ways to help this person hear better.

If it is simply an obnoxious person who doesn't care who hears him/her, it might be best to mention the problem to him/her. These situations can escalate. Let the person know that you won't tolerate that type of behavior. Sometimes you just have to be upfront about things. This is one of those times.

For those that seem to intentionally behave this way, it is sometimes necessary to distance yourself from them. You can't do much to make someone behave in the way that you want them to. You can only control what you do. If that means keeping contact to a minimum, that is what you should do.

For other situations, there are tactful ways to change it such as the clothing issue. You should also keep in mind that you probably care very deeply for this person. You have to decide what is more important to you. The relationship should always override everything else. No two people are the same. It is with tolerance and understanding that great relationships are made. Accepting a person for who they are is the key to great relationships.

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