by Lisa Cara

Created on: May 07, 2009

I find the notion of anything spelling the end of my writing humorous. At first blush, I think there is an unconscious thought that motherhood could be the end of a writing career, but this title omits "career". In either case, my answer is a resounding, "No!' I have been compelled to write from the moment I ever was able to compose an original sentence. My first essay, a first grade assignment was an impressive 150 words. My mother saved a copy for me to read after I had grown older. It was not pretty from a writer's point of view. On the other hand, "My Cat" did cause some side-splitting laughter. I grabbed every elective writing class and journalism activity I could. I soon was writing fiction for my own amusement, even through my term-paper laden university days.

Nature followed its usual course, and I married and became a mother. Motherhood slowed me down considerably. My oldest child had Muscular Dystrophy, his younger brother struggled with ADHD, and their little sister competed for attention between. My days were full leaving precious little time to devote to writing. What I did manage, sometimes seemed far more flawed and incomplete than previous efforts. Yet, as discouraging as it seemed, I began to think about publishing. One of my son's many caseworkers pointed out the fact that many of my emotional issues were common, but not common knowledge. I began to work on articles meant to share some of the common struggles presented to this group of parents. I wish I could say I was successful, but as my son's illness progressed, my writing time was swallowed up in his care. I began to compose articles in my head, while doing dishes, while driving, while getting ready for bed. I talked with other parents, when I dropped my son off at MDA camp, and when I picked him up. When I found an hour or so, usually late at night, I would write those mental compositions down.

Now, my son has passed away from his illness, my other two are grown adults and on their own. I have all the time in the world to pull out those early attempts and work on them. I had to come to terms with the fact I was emotionally too close to my subject to write coherently at the time. Distance and healing have brought me to the point I am now, ready to write meaningfully and purposefully. Motherhood did not end my writing, nor the possibility of a writing career, as I am pursuing that now. Rather, motherhood was a pause while I gathered some different ideas to fuel my journey along the way.

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