by Angie Marcum

Created on: May 06, 2009

There are many ways to teach a toddler responsibility. In doing so not only are you improving their self esteem but helping them gain life skills. However, don't expect your toddler to be independent and break the mold. At this age certain skills are just beginning to emerge and may have to do more with development than motivation.

Pick small tasks that he or she can manage with little, if any assistance. Avoid picking anything that will overtly frustrate the child. The tasks should be simple and able to be carried out with only one to two simple steps. You need to be very direct but gentle in your instruction. A good example would be having your child pick up toys after themselves. A statement such as "we need to get your room cleaned up", may prove to be confusing. The toddler will not know what is expected of them. It is much more efficient to say, "let's pick up the toys and put them in this bin".

A common mistake that I often see is criticism. Toddlers don't know constructive criticism. After assigning the child a particular responsibility, do not criticize their efforts. Not only is it damaging to their self image but it is less likely that they will attempt to try again. When and if you must intervene, try to do it by actions. Instead of pointing out that something is being done wrong, do it alongside the child and nine times out of ten they will repeat your actions. This is key in teaching your child responsibility within the household arena.

Just as important is responsibility for their actions. At this point, your child will have some comprehension of cause and effect. Loving and guiding discipline should be introduced early. Timeout has proven very effective in doing this. By removing your child from a situation which is causing undesirable behavior, they will eventually learn that certain behaviors are not acceptable. While in the timeout, the child is given a chance to self soothe. All of this leads up to holding the child accountable for his or her actions. This is the building block for personal and social responsibility.

When possible, use real life scenarios to point out responsible behaviors. This may be as simple as pointing out that it was really nice of so and so to use their manners. Many life lessons in responsibility can be taught this way, each new situation can be used as an opportunity.The most important thing is that we don't rush responsibility onto the toddler. As the parent, you know your child better than anyone. You will know when the timing is right.

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