by Dan Hiland

Created on: May 06, 2009

The Writer Speaks

Earlier this month I had occasion to talk with Bertram Owen Woolsey, prolific author, publisher, and Senior Fellow at the Algonquin Scriveners Society. He was gracious enough to reflect upon his latest offering, "A Passion for Parsnips" which at least one critic has described as a "lovely book for children."

Hiland: Mr. Woolsey, I'd like to start this off by thanking you for taking time from your busy schedule to-

Woolsey: Please, call me Bertram. We are all friends here, dear boy.

Hiland: Of course. Thank you for making yourself available.

Woolsey: Well, life is a bit hectic, what with the seemingly endless book signings, benefits for the illiterate, and all. Yes "Tis a burden the gifted must bear" Machiavelli, you know.

Hiland: Of course, of course.

Woolsey: Raw-ther

Hiland: Well, let's talk about your new book. Critics are saying that "Passion" is a jarring departure from your usual fare, and "proof positive that you are finally out of your depth", to quote Millard Flemly of the Hoboken Star. How do you respond?

Woolsey: In a word? Poppycock!

Hiland: My sentiments, exactly. From the parts I read, it is a fascinating look at the life of the common farmer. A "hymn to the earth and the bounty it so freely shares", to quote Bernard Petrello, Springfield Weekly.

Woolsey: You are too kind. Yes, my tome does touch on agriculture and its effects on the earthy farm laborer- but there is so much more to be gleaned from, and about, this work.

Hiland: While we're on the subject, how do you respond to those naysayers in literary circles who believe you have lost your way?

Woolsey: Lost my "way"? I am not aware of these "naysayers", as you call them.

Hiland: Well, for example, there's Mildred Nazul, of the Tennessee Dispatch:
"To say that this is Wooly's finest hour would be overstating things- and that in itself is an understatement."

"Then there's Devlyn Tule, book critic for the Okanogan Times, who said, and I quote: "Evidently, farm animals are not the only source of fertilizer in this overblown homage to the humble laborer. Johnson, fetch my hip waders!"

Woolsey: The rantings of buffoons and harpies! What know they of the trials, the tribulations, and yes- the passions- of "he who tilleth the earth from mere love of its rampant soiliness", to quote Spinoza.

Hiland: Yes, Spinoza But he's dea-

Woolsey: A wonderful writer. A veritable master of the craft. I wish to meet him some day.

Hiland: Okay Another objection comes your way from Roslyn Penchant of the Flushing Meadows

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